Challenges [Fourth book of the Bad At Love series]

Never Change

I changed in the chapter before this that there was a three month gap between their one practice and the practice that they found out Kelly got traded.

"I'm gonna miss him." I said when he walked in. He shrugged.

"He was the reason your where you are today so yeah your gonna miss him."

"Baby I didn't mean it like that." I sighed. "I don't wanna fight now."

"Why John."

"Because I hate making you mad ok?! I never wanna fight it's not just now. I'm just upset right now."

"I know." He said and he looked away. "It's like you love him."

"Baby." I said. "No I love you, I love him like a Brother but not on the same level as you. When I told him that he got home where I was I meant that he kept pushing me to like you and finally i guess I just did. I didn't mean it the way you took it." I said. "Come here." He walked over and I pulled him in my lap.

"I'm sorry, I'm gonna miss Kelly to." He said and I nodded.

"Yeah."
......
I was talking to Bradley when the doors opened and the whole team went silent. "I'm sorry I'm late." Someone said and I sighed. It wasn't Kelly.

"It's fine, now let's start practice." Coach said.

"I was late my first day and I was yelled at like there was no tomorrow." I whispered to Bradley and he nodded. We walked up to center court.

"Guys this is Trevor Ariza, you all know him, you've all met him. He's just ok our team now." I nodded. No one said anything do I stepped up.

"John." I said and I shook his hand. "It's cool to have you on the team bro." I said and I smiled at him.

"I'm Bradley." Bradley said smiling and jumping in front of me. I smiled at his kiddish nature.
......
I sighed as I got in the car. "He's Just not Kelly." I said and Bradley nodded.

"Yeah."

"He's good though."

"And cute." Bradley said and I slammed in the breaks. Otto slammed his horn behind me.

"Text Otto im Sorry." I mumbled. He did and we didn't say anything for a long time.

"I didn't mean it that way John. I was just jokingly because Kelly was cute." I nodded.

"And you don't think to mention me?" I whispered to myself. "Ok." I said out loud. "I'm sorry for overreacting."

"It's fine." He said. We drove home and he went one way and I went the other. I sighed.

"It's like all I do now is lie to keep us together." I said to myself as I changed. I turned around to walk out when Bradley was standing in the door way.

"Can we talk about it please?" He whispered. I shrugged.

"Nothing much to it." I whispered and I walked past him.

"John don't do this I wanna know whats going on." He said and I stopped and nodded.

"Yeah can we talk?" I asked him and he laughed.

"Yeah that's what I wanted to do." He said and we sat down on our bed. "What's going on?" He asked me.

"I don't know, it's just every time we fight or something happens I just lie. I tell you it's ok and move on when inside it's not ok, I'm not ok Bradley. I've lied to keep us together because I love us. I love what we once had Bradley. I want it back so bad. I know it's my fault for lying, it's my fault I did all of this. But when I lie it all stops, all the fighting all the nonsense. There's peace, and I love that. But when I lie it just gets to me it bothers me. I'm not gonna lie what you said earlier today bothered me. But I just lied and said I was sorry."

"John, first of all never lie to me, what Evers going on just tell me and we can work it out. And John don't lie to keep us together, we're together because we love each other in a way more than family or friends. You wanna talk about what's going on or no?"

"I don't know." I said shrugging.

"What did I do today?"

"You called Kelly and Trevor cute." I said quietly. He started to laugh.

"John shut up you know I think your cute."

"See Bradley This is what im Talking about, nothing can be solved when stuff like this happens. No I don't think you think I'm cute or else I wouldn't care. You know I think your cute babies I always tell you, I can count on one hand how many times you've called me cute."

"I'm sorry." He said. "I just i don't like to put stuff like that out there."

"I know it's just. Never mind I over reacted."

"No John your not gonna lie in a conversation on why you lie." He said and I smiled.

"You know me so well." I said and he nodded.

"Yeah and I know when you lie, I can tell when you just wanna quit talking."

"I know and I do Bradley. I hate sharing my emotions and feelings."

"I know, but I'm gonna love you no matter what you say." He said and I started to cry.

"No, no your not." I sobbed. "I I I don't wanna talk about it right now." I cried.

"John I'm so confused."

"I know you are Bradley and I'm sorry." I whispered. "I just, love you."

"I know that John but what's going on?"

"Us." I whispered. "The person who kept us together is gone." I cried. "And the first thing we did was fight. Shit Bradley i haven't slept with you in three months. Your dad is here now and. I want us to work because I love you. I should take for granted what u have and I tried." I cried. "We're Just not the same anymore." I whispered and I slid down the side of the bed and I just sat on the floor.

"Hey John." Bradley whispered. I looked up and he was sitting on the floor in front of me. "Baby what ever is making you think that I'll change it. This is just a little bump in our journey together John, but we'll get through it. I'll do what ever I can to fix this. All I know is I'm not gonna let you walk away from this. What we have is something no one else has, everyone talks about It John. I can still tell you love me by how you look at me and i know you can me. Why quit now John?"

"I don't know." I whispered. "I'm sorry, and I don't mean that to make us shut up I really do mean it. I'm sorry for being a horrible husband. These past few weeks I can't seem to do anything right."

"Hey John you do so much right that when you do something wrong it doesn't matter to me." He said and I smiled lightly. "You mean everything to me John, like I said before no matter what you say it'll never change that I love you."