taetae wants love too!

TW // 태헹's aftermath :(

A/N : hewo guys! i hope that you have been doing well :') as per usual, ur author nim is feeling sad like she fked up once again, oh well but what's new :// anw,, i hope that you guys remember that i really do love yalls so very berry much! and more than anything, i hope that you guys will have a great 2019 ahead :) also don't worry okay, we are far from finishing this story yet hehe <3 next update soon ok? i hit my quota for this chapter so i couldn't add more but yeahhh ALSO the next chapter will have more cute scenes, promise keke :') 

Trigger warning : There will be mentions of the rape scene before! 

'Stop! P-please stop it!' Taehyung felt the raw panic. 

He trashed about, desperate to get rid of the weight that lay before him, but to no avail. He tried to shake him off, but he was utterly powerless against him. 

'P-please let me go! I promise I'll be good! P-please!' Taehuyng begged and pleaded, just wishing for it to all be a bad dream. 

But, deep down, he knew that this was real, and it was happening to him.

Taehyung opened his mouth to scream once again, but this time, he felt like there was no sound coming out. He tried to trash and struggle, but it was as if his limbs were filled with lead. They were all too heavy to even lift up. 

Seeing the evil leer the director had sent to him before finally having his head disappear downwards, this was when Taehyung lost control. 

Screaming, he woke up in tears. 

Opening his eyes to see darkness in front of him, Taehyung felt a sense of brief relief that passed through him. 

He couldn't help but be grateful to see that there was nobody in front of him, much less nobody hurting him.

Sighing heavily, Taehyung shook his head in an attempt to keep his mind focused on other matters.

With shaky hands, he reached out to the side of his bed and groped along for his phone. Pressing the home button, he saw that the time had read 3.40am.

Taehyung groaned in displeasure. 

After all, it had been a few days ever since the incident had happened. Taehyung thought that he would have been over it by now, but to his dismay, it had been the only thing on his mind. 

Whenever he closed his eyes, he would never be able to get rid of the man's disgusting leer out of his mind. Whenever he bathed, he would feel the man's hands all over him again and it just caused him to wash himself even harder. Whenever he slept, it would be the worst. Nightmares came and never left.

It would always be him, struggling. powerless against this man who took his own body away from him. 

Taehyung was never one to give in and throw the towel easily. But, at this point of time, he had felt so so so exhausted. He was more than ready to let go of everything that he had worked so hard for. 

He felt that man invade him - both physically and mentally. And oh, how bad had he cried. How bad had he wanted for it to stop. 

But then, he heard his phone go off.

The sight that once used to bring a smile on his face now made him smile with bittersweet happiness. 

On it was a message from Bangtan, his family - the only reason why he was letting himself be sullied this way. 

Pondering, he thought how unfair it was to him that he had to be the one going through all these. But, on the other hand, he was more than grateful that it was him out of all the other members.

Deep down, he knew that if anything were to put them in harm's way,without a doubt, he would obliterate it. Without a doubt, whoever made his family suffer, would be answerable to him and him alone. 

While Taehyung was cute, he was also sharp.

Sharp and shrewd in ways that even his hyungs would be astounded by. Which was why he knew he had to play this game with him.

No matter how dangerous it was, Taehyung knew that he could not afford to let his family suffer for the sake of his convenience. No matter how filled with self-hatred he became, he knew that this would be the only way of loving and taking care of them - such were the troubles that came with being part of a small company.

So, he listened. He acquiesced to the demands the perverted director had of him and now, he's dealing with the outcome. 

Granted, it had only been a few days, but he was already beginning to feel how tough it was. How hard it was to keep pretending in front of the Hwarang hyungs and his own family that he was okay. How hard it was simply to keep everything together when all he wanted to do more than nothing was to give up and go back to being the way he once used to be. 

But even he knew that it was close to impossible. 

So, he acted. Taehyung acted in front of the camera and behind. He let himself play the role of the carefree and relaxed dongsaeng that everyone thought he was. Although he still faced judgements from some of his hyungs - namely Hyungsik hyung and Minho hyung, but he had faith that his relationship with the rest of them were improving after all. 

And whatever that happened that day, was simply a one time thing, right? 

He tried to reassure himself so that he could feel confident enough to behave appropriately in front of him. 

Despite his constant snide remarks and sarcastic comments about Taehyung, he had never once lost his temper or gave him the reaction he wanted. Rather, Taehyung tried to keep himself going by fighting really hard mentally and smiling in front of him to his Hwarang hyungs, determined to show that he had no cares regarding this male right there in front of him. 

Hearing a second ping go off from his phone, Taehyung hurriedly snapped out of his thoughts and paid attention to the little beeping device he had before him. 

What he saw made him tear up ever so lightly.