Forever Ruined

Chapter Twenty-Nine

At sunset, all hands were called to deck. Since Commander Redgrave did not have the opportunity to promote an officer to Mr. McCree's position he took on the task himself.

Truthfully knowing what good friends they were, Clara knew this was most likely intentional. He wanted to handle this on his own, and she understood why. As a girl and a child, she was unable to attend her Father's funeral. Her Aunt and Juliana prepared her father's body for the burial. Her mother claimed her nerves too bad and stayed in bed.

Clara had to watch from afar, from a window in their manor, as the men gathered and prayed. In Lord Bentley's last moment strangers, two men from the village who dug up the plot, and the minister from the local church who came to read a few prayers, surrounded him. The property manager, Mr. Dooley, the only person closest enough to even be considered a friend, stood by the grave throwing in a handful of dirt after the casket was lowered, but Clara knew he was really there to pay the bill.

Then she remembered wishing to turn away, wanting to see no more, to have her father buried with no one to mourn him, no one there who loved him was too much to bear but Juliana, her governess, grabbed hold of her shoulder and turned her around, holding her steadfast. At first, she thought it was mean to be treated in such a fashion but then she'd seen Mr. Dooley pull from his pocket three letters.

She looked up at Juliana, and Juliana smiled down at her. Her sister Annabelle asked, "Are those our letters? The ones you asked us to write to father?" Juliana only nodded not trusting herself to speak, desperate to stay strong for the girls.

Clara touched her hair where she snipped of a lock and placed it in the letter, which Juliana sealed. As she watched, Mr. Dooley threw them in the grave as well. She knew now a part of her would always remain with him until they all met again on the other side. She and her sister hugged Juliana tightly and the three girls wept for the man that treated them all like a father.

"Thank you, Juliana. Thank you for making me watch."

Juliana promised, "I will take care of you girls for however long your mother allows me."

Clara had prepared Angus for burial, he should have been in full dress uniform but Clara instead chose his Scottish garb from home. She came across it in a special box with instructions that should he ever be put to rest he would wish to have this one concession made.

Redgrave agreed without hesitation. "He will be draped with the Union Jack, buried with full honors of an officer at sea. I see no reason why we can't grant him this one last wish."

There's something so sudden about a death at sea. There's none of the usual fanfare that leads to the inevitable end to prepare one's mind for the loss. There is no casket to purchase, no carriage procession, no lengthily mass, just a few words from the Commander, a verse or two from the Chaplain, and suddenly the plank is tipped and the body is given up to the sea.

There hardly seems time to process that someone with so much vitality and presence are really gone and all too soon everyone is back to their tasks of running the ship like he never existed. Lord Fitton placed a hand on Clara's shoulder. "Commander Redgrave said, he wishes for you to work with me for the remainder of the day."

Clara looked up at Redgrave, who looked so solemn as he took to the helm. She knew he had done this small concession for a woman who may wish to grieve in her own way. Clara wished there was a way to comfort him too, but knew it was an impossibility. So, she nodded and went off with Lord Fitton.

Her supplies were already waiting for her when she reached his room. So, she took a seat at the table and went immediately to work, but Lord Fitton reached over and shut the book.