Forever Ruined

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Clara smiled. She could feel his warmth, his hand casually laying over her. So many times he would return to her this way. So long he would disappear. Sometimes she would go months without even a word. Constant worry filled her days. Is he well? Is he safe? Is he even alive?

That last worry would keep her up at night robbing her of sleep until she could no longer stand it and would get up to write in her journal, pouring her feelings upon the page, until utterly spent she'd collapse into a nearly unconscious state.

That's why she would not hear him enter her room. Why she would not be aware of his presence as he climbed into bed just to hold her. It was the most pleasant way to wake to feel him close, to open her eyes, and to see ... Lord Fitton!

Clara's brain unhinged and she scrambled too quickly. She had no idea she was so close to the edge of the bed that she fell out of it with a resounding thud.

Sturgis sat up in bed. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"It's nothing," Clara reassured him.

"Didn't sound like nothing. Are you certain?"

"Yes," Clara replied. She sat up to see Aaron staring down at her a mischievous grin playing upon his lips at her predicament.

"Don't laugh at me. It still smarts," Clara complained rubbing her elbow.

"I'm sorry," Lord Fitton replied but he could not keep the grin from his face.

Clara stood. "I'm going to get dressed. I noticed a communal bathroom down the hall. I will get washed up and when I get back I expect you both to be up and ready to join me for breakfast."

"Breakfast?" Sturgis said with enthusiasm, just thinking of the foods they enjoyed the night before; he could only imagine what wonders breakfast may bring.

"As you wish, Clara," Lord Fitton said watching her as she grabbed the things she needed and hurriedly left the room.

Clara raced down the hall to the bathroom, knocked on the door, and was eternally grateful it was not in use. She stepped inside and locked the door. She knew she could not be long but it was a luxury to get a proper washing and when she was done she felt much more like herself again.

She frowned at her reflection. "It will grow, Clara." She echoed Lord Fitton's words. Benjamin loved her hair. There were times she'd be sitting at her vanity in the morning or at night and about to brush it and he would take the brush from her hand and begin stroking her hair in long fluid strokes. It felt like heaven. All the while he would just stare at her through the looking glass with such promise, such desire in his eyes, it left her breathless.

"What would you think of me now, Benjamin?" she asked staring at her reflection.

Even with the heat of the day, she had chosen a dress with three-quarter length sleeves as she was very conscious of her scar. A red, angry-looking thing, it stood out against the paleness of her skin. A daily reminder of all she has put herself through to get here, to this moment.

Clara took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "This moment." This moment terrified her. This moment meant discovery if she could be made whole, if she could be healed, if she and Benjamin stood a chance, if she had a future to go back too.

She hugged herself to ward off the sudden chill that coursed down her spine. "No sense to it, Clara. Worrying about the outcome. Stay focused on your mission. What will be will be."

Clara chose not to go back to the room, allowing the men to dress and join her in their own time. She was pleased to find a courtyard as she walked about the hotel grounds, with the most beautiful fountain. Chairs were placed around in various parts of the garden, but she chose to sit at the edge of the fountain. It was so peaceful here.