^Jaya Oneshots^

Monster

How could I do such things to those people?

How could I destroy millions with one simple action?

How could I even earn forgiveness from those who lost them? 

That's all I could think of as I lay flat on my back on my bed. Sure it was many years ago, but that doesn't mean it can't haunt me. Everyone shouted with glee as I destroyed the preeminent when Morro attacked Stiix, but I never really knew the consequences. 

I destroyed the cursed realm. 

I destroyed Djinjago.

I killed men.

Women.

And even children.

What kind of person do people think I am? A hero? A murderer? Or maybe even a monster?

Why do the thoughts of these come to me now? Even when I died in the alternate timeline, I went to the departed realm for less then a minute. I was already hated there. I was screamed at. Whipped. And I even saw the face of Garmadon himself. 

I never told anyone what happened when I died. Not even Jay. My life, my world. How could I be so stupid? First I listen to a machine that ruin my relationship and almost destroyed a friendship, and now this. 

I hate myself for causing such pain and misery to these poor soul that went through the destruction of their own realm. I destroyed one and another fell down with it. And we all know if one realm falls, so does another.

I suddenly hear a knock at my door as I quickly wipe away my tears. I stood from my heaven and walked over to the door, and stopped before my hand could touch the knob. "Who is it?" I asked quietly.

"The one you call love" It responded. I imedeantly knew that it was the lovable blue ninja waiting at my door. I giggled a little and opened the door to revel the face of a man with curly dark brown locks of hair, a splatter of light brown flecks upon his cheeks, and adoring electric sapphire blue eyes. 

I smiled, "Why hello, love. What brings you to my door" I asked him as I leaned on the wall.

He suddenly smirked, "Well a little bird told me that you haven't come out of your room all day little missy. I'm getting a little worried for you, you know?" He told me. I didn't respond. I stared down at the hard wooden floor as I knew he was glaring at me. This is going to be a long day.

I felt the slight touch around my waist as I noticed my Master of Lightning had his loving arms around me. I looked up at his face to see a worried, concerned, sympathetic look from my boyfriend. "Let's go in your room to talk" He said as he practically forced me into my own bedroom. 

I noticed he closed the door behind us as both of us stood in the middle of the room. I knew he was curious about what was going on with me, but I don't want him to know. 

"Now what's going on with you, my cherry blossom?" Jay asked me as he lifted my chin up to see face to face with him.

"Nothing, I'm fine" I lied. Of course I lied. I practically lie about everything nowadays. What a life.

I could literally sense Jay glaring at me. He knows me why to well. "Now I know for a fact that you love are a liar" Jay slightly or at least tried to joke, but also a bit disappointed at the same time, "What's really wrong, Nya?" 

I sighed, "Nothing is wrong, Jay" I lied again as I tried to walk away from him, but he grabbed me by my torso and picked me up off the ground and placed me down to be facing him once again.

"Stop lying to me Nya. I know you have something on your mind, so spill it" He said sternly as he held onto my shoulders so I didn't get away. 

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, "I don't want to talk about it" I confessed as I bit my quivering lip to try to not let my tears fall. 

"What do you not want to talk about?" He questioned as his eyes met with my own. I completely broke down.

 I felt a pair of arms surround my body as I felt the closure of a loving man giving me the support to speak out my feelings. I could hear his heartbeat through his chest as I felt the hot, warm, tears streaming down my face. I could feel a comforting hand rubbing my back as I tried to catch my breath.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pressure you" Jay whispered in my ear as I started to calm down. I shook my head in disagreement, "No, don't you dare say sorry, Jay. I'm- I'm just scared that's all. Scared about  what I did" I confessed to soon realize what I just said.

"Scared about what you did?" He asked as he pulled away from the hug and we both sat down on the ground. 

"Remember when I destroyed the preeminent?" I asked him. He nodded, "Well you know that Djinjago also was destroyed in the process, but when I- um died back then I went to the departed realm for about a minute and I hated every single second of it" I said.

Tears started to fall once again, "I saw the lives I destroyed. I saw the reaction of what the people though of me. The one that killed them. I was hated. I knew I deserved it too. I never wanted to kill myself more then I want to in that moment and I was already dead!" I explained as I started to have problems keeping it together.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, love. Why haven't you told me this before?" He asked as he placed me on his lap. Not in that way you dirty minded people.

"Well I never really thought of it until we told the others about the past events and the kept asking questions about what it felt like dying and all that, but I never really ask that of myself those sort of questions and I started reflecting back to what I could've done to prevent those deaths. Jay, I killed men, women, and even children for goodness sake Jay. Children! How could I ever do such a thing! I'm an idiot! Why can't I use my stupid brain and think about what actions do!" I almost screamed as Jay pulled me into his chest.

"Hey, we didn't know that that would happen ,Nya. No one did" Jay assured me.

"I'm a monster" I mumbled. 

I felt a hand placed under my chin as it was lifted up and suddenly a pair of soft lips were placed upon mine. I melted into the kiss as my tears started to dry up, "You are not a monster. I know for a fact that you are not a monster. You are a blossom, Nya. You are brave, industrious, and wise. You are filled with love and joy, so don't think of yourself as a monster because you're not. I love you and I always will" Jay told me.

I lay my head back on his chest and just listened to his heartbeat. This is the only thing that will not make me believe in nonsense.

Because Jay Walker is my Hero to defeat my Monster.