Fuckbuddies

Straight Forward

I figured I needed some time alone. All I really needed at that moment was to think about my feelings, in hopes of managing to organize my thoughts somehow.
"I need to go", I got off the bed and glanced at Lauren for the last time before leaving the house.
"Bye", she responded.
I cracked a little smile and left. The tension between us after she rejected me was a little awkward for the two of us. But after all, she's my best friend. Even when we argue it takes less than two minutes for us to make up.
Anyway, I got into my car and drove off. I didn't know exactly where I was going, But I wanted to clear my mind for a bit. For some odd reason I drove to Austin's house. As I arrived I got out of the car, and nocked on his huge wooden door.
"Who is it?", I heard his voice from the other side.
"It's Camila", I answered, waiting for him to open.
He opened the door, totally surprised to see me standing there.
"Camila, hi", he seemed confused to see me. At this point we haven't spoken for like two weeks. I just didn't feel enough comfortable talking to him after what happened at the beach.
He gestured me to come in, so I entered his house and made my way into the living room. "What can I offer you to drink, miss Cabello?", he asked playfully.
"I would love to have some green tea, sir", I answered awkwardly, like I always do.
He brought a cup of green tea for me and a cup of black tea for himself. We sat next to each other on the black, furry couch in his living room and drank our beverages casually, like it wasn't a big deal that we haven't spoken for a long time. Austin broke the silence first.
"So.. How are you?", he asked and took a sip of his tea.
"I'm good. You?", I stared into his hazel eyes.
"I'm good too. I missed talking to you", he stared back.
"I..", I looked down. I was a little embarrassed, considering I didn't even know how to justify me suddenly disappearing from his life.
"You're what?", he asked.
"I missed you too. But I'm here now, right?", I cracked a smile.
He smiled back and took another sip.
"We can go to that Italian restaurant I told you about, let's go tomorrow", I managed to change the subject.
"Sounds good", he smiled.
The tension between us was awkward as hell. It felt like an unsuccessful first date.
"This tea is good, where did you get this from?", I couldn't think of anything else to say in order to break this awkward silence.
"Why did you run away the other day at the beach?", he confronted me about the subject I was avoiding.
I didn't know if I should open up and tell him what I was feeling, or keep lying to him and lead him on. I chose to lie.
"I felt sick-", I immediately regretted saying that, "not from our kiss though, not at all".
I managed to make the conversation even more awkward than it was before.
"I just ate something bad that day. I'm sorry for not communicating like a normal person, you know how weird I am", I smiled awkwardly, making him smile back.
"Yeah, I know. Why did you disappear for two weeks though?", he kept unfolding the truth I was hiding. So I decided to tell him at least some of the truth, just so he would stop asking me questions about stuff I was trying to avoid.
"I needed some time to think. You're sweet, I truly think that.. I just didn't know what I was feeling. And I'm sorry for not being straight forward with you, I'm usually not like that".
He put his glass away, and came closer to me. He ran his fingers through my hair, while removing it from my face. He stared deeply into my eyes, as I felt his warm fingers touching my cheeks.
"So what are you feeling now?", he leaned in to kiss me.
His lips crashed into mine, as he cupped my face with the both of his hands. He entered his tongue into my mouth and kissed me passionately for the second time ever. I didn't resist him kissing me, but I also didn't enjoy it fully. It was just okay, I guess.
He broke the kiss and pulled me in for hug. He wrapped his large arms around me, and hugged me tightly. I smelled his fresh cologne while he laid a kiss on the top of my head.
"I'm sorry for being weird", I said while still laying my head on his chest.
"Do you.. Want to make it up?", he smirked.
"Of course, umm.. I can cook some food maybe?", I raised my head, making eye contact with him.
"I have a better idea", He grabbed my head and slowly made me lay down on the couch. He quickly got on top of me and continued kissing me passionately. His hands started touching around my stomach, and he began pulling up my shirt slowly. I felt a little uncomfortable, but I didn't stop him. He removed my shirt off, and pulled away from kissing me in order to remove his. He continued kissing my neck,  and started going down towards my breast. Suddenly I felt him biting me right above my nipple. He noticed I panicked for a second, so he laid a soft kiss there and continued kissing my neck. He rubbed his hands up and down my legs, attaching them to his body. Then he stopped kissing me for a few seconds, and started removing his pants. That was the moment I couldn't take it anymore. The thought of sleeping with him freaked me out, so I immediately stopped him.
"Austin, no", I searched for my shirt. He got off of me, completely confused and embarrassed.
"I don't understand", he seemed frustrated.
I quickly put on my shirt and avoided looking at him.
"Are you not attracted to me?", he asked.
I stayed silent.
"Camila, we just talked about this. You promised to be straight up with me", he raised his voice.
"I am, I am attracted to you. I'm just.. not ready yet", I said shyly.
His anger dissipated slowly.
"Wait, you've never actually..", he bit his lip, "have you?"
I stayed silent for a few more seconds and raised my eyes to look at him.
"No.. I've never actually", I answered quietly.
Telling Austin I was a virgin was half true. I mean, technically I've never slept with a guy, so it wasn't a complete lie. But it wasn't the truth either. Suddenly I got a call. It was Lauren.
"I'm sorry, I.. I have to go. But we'll talk about this, I promise", I got up and headed to the door.
"You can't just leave-", he tried to make me stay, but I just couldn't.
"I'll talk to you tomorrow, I promise. I'm sorry", I said and left his house, leaving him totally confused and frustrated at the same time.