Fuckbuddies

I'll Get Over It

I knocked on Lauren's door.
"Come in", she said from the living room.
I entered the house and waved awkwardly at Lauren sitting on the couch.
She waved back and smiled at me softly.
I sat next to her and put Austin's guitar next to me. She noticed the guitar and was confused regarding why I brought it with me.
"Where did this guitar come from?", she asked with a confused smile.
"It's Austin's, he borrowed it to me", I said and left her even more confused.
"Oh, so.. You and Austin are back?", she seemed disappointed.
"No, not at all", I responded.
"So why did he give you his guitar? Were you at his house?", she stared deeply into my eyes.
"Yes, but not for the reason that you think.. Just, what did you want to tell me?", I tried to change the subject and get to the point.
"Uhh, yeah, I..", she stuttered, "I wanted to tell you that I reported that uber driver".
I was a little confused and kind of disappointed that that was the thing she called me for. I don't know why I expected something better to come out of her mouth.
"That's.. That's great, Lo", my lips curved into a fake smile.
We both stayed silent from the awkwardness. The tension which was left between us was undeniable, cause we both had things sitting on our hearts that we prevented ourselves from telling each other.
"So.. Are you going to play the guitar for me?", Lauren broke the silence.
"What?", I chuckled.
"Play something, come on", she giggled and looked at the guitar, gesturing me to pick it up.
"What do you want me to sing?", I couldn't stop myself from smiling awkwardly.
"I don't know, maybe something that you wrote. Your writing is the most beautiful thing ever", she cracked a smile.
I smiled and picked the guitar. I started playing "Consequences".
Once I finished singing I looked over at Lauren, but her face was expressionless. I couldn't understand whether she liked the song or not. I immediately regretted playing it for her.
"Did you not like it?", my smile faded.
"I did. Your voice is beautiful", she responded.
My lips curved into a soft smile and I looked down awkwardly.
"Austin really broke your heart, huh?", she glanced at me.
"What?", I immediately raised my head to look at her.
"He does not deserve you, Camz", she put her hand on my thigh.
"What? No, he didn't break my heart, I'm fine. We're fine", I responded.
"I don't understand", she seemed confused, "You guys are good?"
"Yes, I was even at his house earlier cause-"
"Do you still love him?", she cut me off with a bold question.
"No, and I've never been in love with him", I finally opened up.
"What? But I thought you guys-"
"I lied", I cut her off, "We were never an actual 'thing', I haven't slept with him.. I mean, he tried.. but I rejected him"
A cold silence filled the air.
I could feel her disappointment, I've never in my life lied to Lauren. She was not only my best friend, she was my soulmate. Me choosing to lie to her was the one thing she'd never expected from me.
"Why?", she seemed distant.
"Because I don't love him, I-"
"No, why did you lie?", she cut me off with a cold stare.
"I'm telling you why, it's because I wanted to make you jealous", I responded.
"Why would you do that?"
"I regretted lying to you the second I did, but it was too late because you had an anxiety attack and you didn't want-"
"You know I hate it when people lie to me", she cut me off again, "Why on earth would you lie to me, you know I fucking hate it", I could see the anger in her eyes.
"Can you please calm down? I'm trying to explain", I tried to tell her the truth but she didn't even let me finish a whole sentence.
"If you're not with Austin, then what were you doing at his house before you came here?", she asked angrily.
"You were with me when he called. I called him back after I dropped you at your house, and he invited me to his house", I responded.
"Why? Does he still have feelings for you?", she kept attacking me.
"No, he was just helping me, like a good friend", I replied.
"Helping you with what?", she asked with a cold stare.
"With what I feel towards you", I said sharply.
"What?", her anger slowly dissipated and turned into confusion.
"I told him that I like girls, and he was so sweet and accepting. We became good friends.. And I told him about my feelings for you", I said and left her speechless.
"The song I wrote?", I stared deeply into her eyes, "It's about you", I added.
She was still silent.
"But don't worry, I won't bug you about this anymore", I started putting the guitar back in its case, "I'll get over it".
I got up and went towards the door. I was hoping Lauren would stop me, but she didn't.
I left her house, for the last time in the next two weeks.