Fuckbuddies

It Doesn't Get Easier

She waited patiently for a response from the doctors, like a little child waiting for the first rain to come.
All of a sudden she noticed my parents running down the hallway towards her. They were panicking and crying so she tried her best to calm them down, when in reality, she needed someone to calm her down just as much.
The doctor came out of the emergency room, and they all got up from the floor, yearning to hear the news that he had to inform.
"You are Camila's parents, right?", the doctor looked at my parents.
"Yes", my mom answered desperately.
"Well, we just discovered Camila had a head injury we weren't aware of when she got here", the doctor spoke.
"So?", Sinu asked in panic.
The doctor stayed silent for a few moments, which felt like forever.
My mom was squeezing my dad's hand so tightly, waiting for an answer she couldn't have scripted in her worst nightmares.
"We discovered it too late", the doctor informed us with the worst announcement we could've imagined.
"No!", my mom started yelling and groaning, "Mi hija!", she tried the open the emergency room's doors but my dad held her tightly and prevented her from doing so. He was crying too, but he needed to be strong for my mom.
And Lauren.. Lauren was sitting at the corner, completely empty from the inside. She didn't know how to feel, cause she lost touch with her emotions once she was informed about my death. She didn't have tears inside of her anymore, but at the same time, she couldn't think of a good reason to exist in a world where I wasn't living in.
"Mi hija!", Sinu screamed while crying her eyes out, "Bring me back my daughter!", she groaned.
"Shhh. Sinu, tranquilizarse", my father held her tightly and pressed her head to his chest.
"I want my daughter back!", she kept screaming in grief.
It took her awhile to calm down. Once she stopped screaming, they all got into the car and drove home.

As the days went by, the pain everyone was feeling following my death didn't disappear. In fact, it just got stronger, cause everyone started to comprehend that I wasn't coming back.
Lauren was broken. She couldn't sleep, she wasn't able to eat, and she didn't want to communicate with anyone.
For a few days she even returned to drinking her problems away. But nothing made her feel better. If anything, her drinking habits have always made her feel even worse.
But one day, after grieving for two weeks, she decided to do something in the memory of our love.

"Hello?", Lauren said through the phone.
"Hi", Austin answered her, "How are you?", he asked.
"I feel like shit", she sniffled, "I've never felt so low in my whole life", she added.
"I'm so sorry Lauren", Austin replied.
He didn't know how to comfort her.
"As much as I would like to talk about how fucking cruel this world is, I called for something else", she said.
"What do you need?", he asked.
"Do you have the song she wrote about me?", she asked him.
"I don't, but it's in her notebook, I think. It should be in her room", he replied.
"Okay. Thank you, Austin"
"No problem, it's the least I can do", his lips curved into a soft smile.
"You were such a good friend to her. Thank you for always being there for her when I wasn't", she said.
"I'm glad that I could be that for her"
"You're a sweet guy. Have a good day, bye", she hung up.
She took her stuff and went to my house.

My death took away a lot of things from Lauren.
It took away her hunger, as well as her bright perspective and her desire to feel loved.
It made her lose her faith, because she couldn't find any bright spot in this whole situation.
It left her lonely, because not only did she lose her love, but she also lost her best friend.
But as much as our relationship was meaningful to Lauren, my death couldn't take away how determined she is when it comes to the things that matters to her.
She knew my parents were mourning my death, but it didn't stop her from going to my house, no matter how scary it was.

When she arrived, she knocked on the door gently and waited for someone to open.
Sofi opened the door for her.
"Lauren!", the little girl shouted and hugged her tightly.
Lauren sank into the hug and wrapped her arms around Sofi with every piece of her body, like she was her older sister. Seeing Sofi like that shattered her heart. She couldn't imagine what was going through this little kid's head, and even worse, she didn't want to imagine what was going on in her heart.
Once they pulled away from the hug, Lauren reached Sofi's hand and they both entered the house.
My mom was sitting on the couch in the living room, drinking tea. She was looking like someone came and took away every single reason she had to live.
Lauren sat down on the couch next to her. The two of them were silent. They just didn't know how to express the emptiness they were both feeling inside.
After a few minutes of deep silence, Sinu decided to ask Lauren how she was.
"How are you feeling?", she glanced at her.
"It doesn't get easier", Lauren replied, "But I'm trying not to dwell into this", she added.
Sinu took a deep breath and continued: "It really doesn't. But you're right, we can't let it tear us apart", Sinu's eyes welled up.
Lauren put her hand on Sinu's arm and rubbed it gently, trying to comfort her.
"I don't want to live in a world without her. But I know she wouldn't want me to stop living just because she did", Lauren said while rubbing Sinu's arm.
Sinu burst into tears so Lauren came close to her and wrapped her arms around her, pulling her in for a warm embrace.
After Sinu calmed down Lauren decided to talk to her about the reason she came.
"Can I ask you something?", Lauren asked while still hugging Sinu.
Sinu pulled away from the hug and looked at her, signing her to keep going.
"I want to take Camila's notebook, where she wrote all of her songs in. Would it be okay if I borrowed it for a couple of days?", she asked.
Sinu nodded in agreement. Lauren's lips slowly curved into a soft smile. She leaned in and laid a kiss on Sinu's cheek, then went upstairs to my room.
Once she entered the room she smelled the scent of my clothes, which were left in a messy pile on my bed.
It was hard for her at first, because my room reminded her of so many memories she could not cope with at that moment. But it also reminded her of my presence, so she tried to hold on to the good memories.
She started searching for my notebook in my drawer. She found the notebook and took it, then went downstairs.
"Thank you", she waved goodbye to Sinu and got out of the house.