𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜. - 𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚢 𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛𝚐

the one he's been waiting - the four seasons part 2.

Andy seems to be waiting for somebody. He walks side to side, talking to the bartender and the waiters, but it seems not enough to cool him down. Every now and then, I find him aligning his bow tie. I should go talk to him, but I'm trying to keep it cool too. I've been rehearsing my lines, so I don't get misunderstood.

I get up, excusing Akiva and Jorma. These high heels are pretty comfortable, so I try to cross my legs while a walk so I can cause a good impression. He looks to me for a moment but quickly looks to the side again, preoccupied.

"Hey, are you okay?" I ask, holding him by the arms.

"I'm fine. I would give my little speech now but... I'm waiting for Joanna."

Who's Joanna?

"I don't think she would mind, would she?" I ask, but her name echoes in my head. Joanna.

"I guess not." He says, giving a small smile.

He looks for an empty glass of champagne. He takes a knife and finally, gets the attention. The repetitive noise mad everyone in the room stops what they were doing and focus on Andy. And on me too, apparently.

He starts his speech. "Hey, hum... thank you so much for coming to my birthday party tonight. I'm glad you guys could come and celebrate with me one more year. I wanted to thank my amazing friends Akiva and Jorma, they have been there for me since the beginning." I still remember the day they were going to Santa Cruz attend college there and me lying to him the reason why I couldn't go with him. It makes me realize how horrible I was with them, especially with Andy.

"I wanna thank my friend Seth for welcoming in SNL, all the crew from the show, but... I wanna thank God for bringing back to my life [Y/N], one of the best people I met in my life, thank you for making elementary and high school better." At this point, all I want to do is kiss him. "Finally the foursome is back." I hug him from the back and Andy holds my hands. Smiling is inevitable.

Andy leaves the hug and turns to his right and a blonde woman comes in our direction. They share a quick kiss and the smile in my face fades. He continues. "I'm thankful for this incredible woman in my life, thankful for her support and love. I'm so glad we're getting married."

All I want to do now is cave a hole and bury myself. My eyes want to cry, not me. I just wanna run away. From all of this. All these paranoids, all these wrong feelings, all these expectations, all those choices I made. Her laugh echoes in the room and I see he is smiling back at her, in the same way, he looked at me when I got here. I need to leave immediately before I make a fool of myself.

"[Y/N], are you okay?" Andy asks, touching my left arm, making me wake up of the trance.

"I'm fine, fine, fine."

"He talks so much about you. We are finally meeting!" Joanna says, with a huge smile on her face. She hugs me, and pretend to be fine.

"Andy might have mentioned you once, I believe so." I lie.

"Who cares, right? I'm glad you finally came to New York. Moving across the country Is not easy, right? It's complicated to adjust on the Eastern Standard Time." I'm overwhelmed, right now. All these thoughts in my head are consuming me. I don't know how long I can keep my tears to myself.

"Can you excuse for one second? Thank you." I say cunningly.

I walk towards my table and Akiva thinks I'll seat, but I grab my purse and I bypass the table. After some steps, I get to the corridor. The windows are closed but I can see the moonlight lighting up my path to the restrooms at the end of the passageway. I slam the door when I get into the cabin, and the tears roll out like ice skating: smooth and fragile. My lungs are overwhelmed as well as my mind. All these complicated feeling should have been kept inside me, not blossom.

I need to call Teri. I need to leave this place. I take my phone and immediately disk her number, but my tears are blurring my view. Some tears fall on my screen and my fingers are trembling. Pick up the damn phone. Pick up the phone.

After some seconds of me already losing hopes, she picks up. "Hi [Y/N]."

My crying voice comes on. "I need to leave this place now Teri. Please, pick me up." I sob loudly.

"Oh my god, what did he do?"

"He did nothing, I just need to go home. Help me." My voice is fading.

"I'm going right now. Wait for me outside."

I agree with my head. I could not speak anymore. I hang up the phone and I can see the marks of the tears on the silk. I can't leave like this. Andy can't see me like this. I'd be making a fool of myself. A crying baby.

I open the door and instantly see my horrible reflection in the mirror. I look like shit. I look devastated.

You are not crying anymore, do you hear me? You're gonna leave the restroom, and you're gonna say bye to Andy, and Akiva, and Jorma, and get the hell out of this place. Dry these tears, you bitch.

I put some lipgloss so I can look less horrible. I take a deep breath and walk out. The music comes to my ears, but all I can hear is Joanna telling me how hard it is moving to the other side of the country. My steps are strong, determined, but I can't say the same of my eyes. I trade with my head down low.

The first thing I see in the party room is Joanna talking to Jimmy Fallon, all smiley and sweet. Andy looks romantically to her, as those couples spotted at some event and everybody immediately falls in love with them. It's time to be the actress.

"Guys, I'll have to go. I'm not feeling well." I lean on their table.

"You're already leaving? We didn't even eat the cake yet!" Jorma says, but both look worried.

"I know, can you guys save a bit for me? I'm sure that at this party, the cake is not gonna be enough for you two." They are buying it. They laugh.

"I'm sure we can save a little something for you. Now take care."

"I will. Bye guys. Oh, let's text someday." I say, already walking away from them.

They smile at me and I focus my attention on the elevator. My steps keep firm on the ground. That's the only way I'm gonna make it until the car. A hand holds mine, making me turn back suddenly.

"Are you already leaving?" Andy asks, looking concerned.

"I'm not feeling good." I keep it brief, so my body doesn't give in.

"Are you sure you can't stay? Joanna wants to talk to you." I can't hold it anymore.

"You should have told me about your fiancée." I say, almost whispering.

"I know, I was just trying to enjoy our moments together."

"Why you weren't wearing any ring every time we were hanging out?" I interrogate.

"Because I was usually leaving the set." He answers, not understanding a thing.

One tear roll out. I can' take it anymore. Before I inundate the room, I say goodbye. "Bye Andrew."

I walk fast towards the elevator, but his voice keeps calling my name. He keeps asking why?, what happened?, it's everything alright?. I just wanna leave. I get inside the big box. Before the doors close, Andy is some steps away from the elevator. "Close." I say to the elevator operator.

I whisper. "Bye Andrew." The door closes.