𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜. - 𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚢 𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛𝚐

messed up feelings.

I throw myself on my bed. The pillow is cold and my make-up will probably smudge on the sheets. But I don't care at all. My heart is too broken to care about messed up make-up.

"Can you finally tell me what happened?" Teri says, sitting on the edge of the bed.

I moan. I don't want to relive that moment again. Remembering is too hurtful.

"I'll not be able to help you if you don't tell me." Teri begs. "Tell me what happened.

I sit. "He's engaged." Tears roll out again. "That happened."

"Oh, sweetheart." Teri hugs me tight. I bury my face on her neck while she plays with my hair.

"What was I thinking?" I say, regretting everything.

"It's not your fault. You didn't know."

"Yes, I mean... he was never using the ring."

"Having these feeling just messed everything up. If I was content enough of being friends with Andy again, all this shit wouldn't have happened. But I was being consumed by them: the feelings."

"Babe, you have to stop saying like this. You're in love with him."

"No, I have messed up feelings. I'm lonely for years and now that I see a familiar face in New York, my mind decided to fuck me up."

"You love him, admit it. This will make things less painful and less complicated for both of you, but especially for you.

The doorbell rings. We were not expecting any visitors. And Teri's date is on his way to Long Island. Teri gets up and walks down the stairs. The doorbell keeps ringing like crazy. I get up and check what's going on from up here. Teri looks at me before opening the door, not knowing what's going on either.

She opens up the door. "It's Teri here?" Andy's voice paralyze my body. He walks in and unfortunately, sees me at the edge of the stairs.

This can't be happening.

I quickly walk inside my room, closing the door afterward. I lean against the door and my breath gets quicker and smaller. My brain is trying to work: how he came here when the party is still going on?, how he got my address?. So many more questions.

"She is not feeling well." Teri tries to work things up.

"She was crying. I know my [Y/N]."

That just rocked my world. He says he knows his [Y/N], but don't tell his [Y/N] that he's engaged. To someone else, that is not his [Y/N].

"She doesn't want to talk to you today. Maybe tomorrow Andy." Teri seems to open the door again. "She wants you to leave."

"I won't leave until I talk to her."

He won't leave until I show up. I didn't even realize I was crying all this time. He must go. I open the door, and their argument cedes for a while. Andy looks at me after Teri sees me on the top of the stairs, in tears.

"I think you should go, Andrew." Wow, I'm really hurt, to be calling him Andrew...

"[Y/NN], please, I just wanna talk to you for a mo..."

"Please... Andy, please." I have to pause so I don't burst into tears in front of him.

"Can we talk tomorrow?" He says almost leaving.

I can't say anything anymore. So I assent with my head. He keeps staring at my eyes for some seconds, and then, leaves. I finally start to breathe again. I didn't even realize I stopped breathing for a moment. My heavy breath makes my tears roll out again, stronger. My legs can't handle anymore, so I seat on the stair step. My hands hold my face, while I question myself.

Teri walk upstairs towards me and sit next to me. If I didn't feed up this love for him, I wouldn't be hurt. I was pretty sad when I found out about Andy and Cassidy because they were so different: he was funny, loose, loyal to the ones he loves, and she was overprotective, manipulative and superficial. I never thought that they would last, but I remember being so disappointed to see him moving with her, and me being not able to go with them... because of my stupid decisions.