A New Vista

Chapter 28

"Wow." I said as tears formed in my eyes. "So you did receive the letters."

I lifted the envelopes up to see the torn tops to them. "And you opened the envelopes as well."

Paul hung his head low, then lifted my suitcase.

"That won't be necessary at this point." I held up my hand, freezing him in his motion. He still continued and placed it on the floor inside, then shut the front door.

"Elizabeth, I can explain." Paul extended his hands as he stepped toward me.

"Explain what? That you lied about not receiving my letters?" I asked him as I shook my head.

"I never said I didn't receive your letters." Paul said sadly.

"Oh, you just tallied along with me and made me the fool for making that idiotic excuse up." I said with a weak voice. Paul didn't answer.

"Elizabeth, I'd love to explain, but can we please do this outside. We can go anywhere, let's just not stay here." Paul said as he defensively held his hands up.

I slowly stepped toward him, the large bulk of letters still in my hand while tears fell down my cheeks. "I know we were on a break, Newman, but that doesn't mean you had to ignore me!"

"When I came out here, I wrote you a lot because I had no time occupying job or friends." He admitted to me.

"Oh, so now that you're some big shot who is in the background on television shows, you suddenly think you're too good to answer me!" I shouted at him. He began pressing his lips together, as if he was about to tell me to shhh.

"I won't be quiet!" I shouted even louder. "Damn it, Newman, who are these other ladies anyway? Are they your fans? Are they your lovers?"

I asked as I took one of the letters from the other girls and pulled it out of the envelope.

"We were on a break. We are on a break!" Paul reminded me.

"And that gives you a reason to leave me hanging, high and dry! Receiving my letters, opening them, reading them! And then still choosing to ignore me." I cried as I began unfolding the mystery girl's letter.

"Elizabeth, you're overstepping your bounds. Give me that letter." Paul reached out but I turned my back to him.

My eyes skimmed over it. Wow! It's only been a few days! Thank you for getting back so soon...

"This was dated a week ago! You had time to answer her but not me?" I asked angrily as I held up the letter.

"Elizabeth, she's probably one of the girls who attend the Actor's Studio with me." Paul defended himself as he looked at me from the side of his eye.

"I don't care who it is. Why are they more important than I am? The one who was with you before all of this. The one who you..." I had to pause since I was crying. "You took everything from me Paul, then stopped engaging without any reason!"

"You wanna know the reason!?" Paul shouted at me. I was shaken by his loud, bass-filled voice, he'd never yelled at me that way before.

"Yeah!" I shouted at him.

"I had no reason, Elizabeth. I'm in a new state, I'm reinventing myself and I'm focusing on my craft!" Paul shouted at me. "You're acting very entitled. I didn't have to do anything. I could've stopped talking to you from the jump."

"You said you loved me, Paul!" I reminded me in an amplified voice.

"I did love you!" He yelled even louder. Suddenly my stomach sunk. He did love me. "I was in another state, Elizabeth, I'm sorry if I grew apart."

"We had something. I met your parents." I cried to him.

"We were just kids, all of us, we were all just kids!" Paul rose his hands into the air. It's like he was saying the fact that both of us were young somehow made what we had invalid.

"Damn it, Elizabeth, you're still a kid, look at you! I'm 28 years old, Elizabeth. I'm not participating in any child's play, I need to start my life!" Paul said as he pointed at his chest.

"I'm 22 years old, Paul and all I know is that I love you and I came out here to start my life." I said with my tear stained cheeks. "I've always loved you."

Sorrow washed over his face, his blue eyes became hooded as he looked at me. Then he stepped toward me slowly, placing his hands on my shoulder.

"I will never not love you, Liz." Paul said as he looked down in my eyes. "But my love is different than how it was back at Kenyon."

"What made this change? Are you so fickle that distance was the only factor that made us go sour?" I asked as I looked up into his eyes.

"I put my craft first and my past behind me. When I arrived, they said my personality didn't match my face." Paul admitted to me.

"But I love you for who you are, who cares if it doesn't match? Isn't acting all about pretending anyway?" I asked as I squinted up at him.

"It's a lot to explain, but there's a new technique to acting. A method, if that's what suits you. And in it, you become the actor, more or less. Off the stage and off the camera, you stay acting like that character. I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't get carried away with it. But because of the way I look I'm going to get a certain type of role. And if I want to properly play those roles, I have to act the way I look." Paul babbled on in front of me.

Those were a lot of words, but my answer was simple. "So because you look like a stud you're gonna act like a jackass?"

Paul stood there as he looked down at me silently. I know saw the difference in Paul, and he surely wasn't the boy who left me. I knew better than to believe that everything would be the same, because it wouldn't.

Something flickered in his eyes, as if to say that a piece of the old Paul was still present. Still, that wasn't enough to make me stay.

I walked towards the door, filled with disappointed. I felt like Paul had turned into someone deceitful, that was something I didn't want to be a part of.

"Elizabeth." Paul called out. I stopped walking, my back was still turned to him. I looked down at my suitcase on the floor. I was only a few feet away from the front door.

"Please." Paul exhaled as he walked up behind me. He placed his hands on my shoulders from behind and sensually slid them down my arms. I felt so angry at myself for melting at his touch even after all of that. "Don't leave, Liz."

"I'm leaving, Paul. No matter what you say." I told him, but I wasn't sure how true that was.

Suddenly, another person's voice filled the room.

"I agree." A woman's voice said. "She should leave."

Paul attempted to keep my back turned, but I wiggled out of his grip and turned around. I looked at Paul's face first, his lips were pierced and his nostrils were flared. His chest rose and fell as his hands were in fists at his side.

Then, I looked behind him. There stood Essie, in nothing but a sheer, lacy chemise. I could see her body underneath. Knowing her, she probably wanted to boast about it.

"I don't know who brought this tramp here, but she definitely has to go." Essie said with a risen eyebrow.