Reborn

Chapter 20

Now, getting back to my treatment, As you know I wasn't allowed any visitors. There were two bins in my room. Everything had to be disposed off in there. My meals were brought to me in throw away containers because of the high radioactive iodine in my room. Even the cleaner had to use a hazmat suit when she came in to clean. I took 10 novels with me but finished them by the second day.

It wasn't so bad though, just boredom drove me insane. I was nauseas but not too much and at least I knew that my hair wasn't going to fall out. I was told that I need to wash all my clothes separately at least 5 times before mixing it with other clothes. I wasn't allowed to be near small kids or pregnant women for at least three months.

I stayed at home for another month or so and then went back to work. Sean acted as though I was contagious and never came near me. I noticed the look of disgust on his face a few times when he thought I wasn't looking. Yes, I do know that I was huge but it wasn't any fault of mine. How does someone change overnight like that. I mean, he was the one who took me shopping for a whole new wardrobe (well, about a quarter of a wardrobe but still) because none of my clothes fitted me.

I guess I expected him to love me unconditionally but who was I fooling really. He didn't love me when I was a 36, why would he love me at 46.

I just threw myself into my work and Darius. Another festive period came and went. And the beatings took place like clockwork.

I think I got to a point where it was so normal, I was expecting it every single time. I just didn't know when. Strange thing though, I always knew which day it was going to happen and I wake up with dread. My day will go by in a daze. I would have the runs the whole day and I would continuously be anxious. But when the first blow came, it always took me by surprise. You just never see it coming, by now I stopped fighting back. I stopped screaming because it just made it worse. And I noticed that if I screamed, Darius would come racing and try to protect me. So, eventually I use to just lie there and take it.

Once he was done, he would grab his keys and leave, most often to go get more alcohol. I would lie there in a cocoon on the floor. As soon as the car started, I would hear Darius's footsteps. Seems like he grew accustomed to the drill as well. He would come into the bathroom, cause that's where most of it took place. And he would hold me... He would then scream for his granny and she would come running. Not like it mattered anyway, All she would do is ask if I'm okay. She would sit there in silence and just give one or two comments and then ask me if I wanted a cup of tea. I know tea can fix a lot of things but tea can't fix my broken face and broken spirit.

I remember the 30th of December that year so clearly. It hit me out of no where. Now, normally I would get beaten up on new years eve. It sort of became like a tradition. So, that day started out like any normal day. I woke up, made breakfast for everyone, cleaned up because Sean's aunt was going to spend New years eve with us. I had already planned a menu. I was going to make chicken tikka on the braai and prepare crab. I was actually quite excited as I had a new recipe to try out.

The one thing I can't remember though was how it started or why. All I remember was that it came out of no where. I was more in shock than anything else. This was not how it was supposed to be, It was supposed to happen tomorrow. Why today??? I just lay there as usual and he was drunk, as usual. It being the festive season and all, that was his excuse to drink every day that he was at home. Normally I would just be swollen and red all over and my face and body will ache. This time it was different. It was as though he wanted to show me who was boss. This time he wanted to show everyone who was boss. I tasted blood, but I kept my mouth closed. My teeth hurt and I remember thinking to myself, please, not my teeth. My teeth shuddered and my gums started swelling. I felt warm blood dripping down the side of my mouth but I just lay there. He booted me in my stomach and sides and I just wrapped my arms around my mid section.