Ryan and I sat in Peyton's room, our heads were tossing and turning trying to make a decision for our daughter's future. Her whole life came down to our decision, this one decision. The door slides open revealing my brother and mom.
"How is she?" Mom asks. I opened up my mouth to speak, but no words came out all I could do was burst out crying. Ryan gave that sobering look to them, and they knew right away what was going on. Chase got down on his knees, pulling me into his embrace trying to calm me down. I couldn't stop as Ryan explained our dilemma.
"Why not just to the surgery, it's all in God's hands, and if it's his will he'll bring her through it." Mom sadly suggests. I looked up at Ryan as Chase wipes away my tears.
"Let's do that." I agreed. "Call your mom, tell her to bring the kids."
| Couple hours later |
We'd informed the doctors that we'd be up for putting Peyton in surgery, Lisa had brought the kids, and it was up to us to try to explain all this to them.
"Is P okay?" Summerlyn asked so innocently.
"P's sickness has come back, and it's not looking so good right now-"
"Is she going to die?" Noah chimes in.
"There is a chance, yes. Mommy and I just want to prepare and for you to understand in case that happens, okay?"
"Okay." They both said.
"Okay, your sister is about to go into surgery, would you like to see her?" I asked, they nodded. We lead them to P's room where they possibly saw her for the last time.
"It's time." Nurses announce walking in.
"I love you Peyton," I say placing a kiss on her forehead.
"I love you too mommy." She smiles.
"I love you sweetheart, always will," Ryan says trying to keep his emotions in check. The nurses roll her out of the room, leaving it vacant. For the next few hours, Ryan and I would be confined to this room, impatiently waiting for any news or updates from the doctors and nurses.
| Hour 3 |
The door slides open again as another hour had passed in Peyton's surgery. A nurse walks in and updated us that there was a minor complication, but the surgeon was able to catch it in time.
| Hour 4 |
The same nurse came into to update Peyton's heart rate and blood pressure was slowly decreasing, but the surgeon was doing everything he could to keep it up.
| Hour 5 |
They got Peyton's heart rate and pressure back up to normal. The surgery had gone smoothly ever since the last complication, the surgery was halfway done.
| Hour 6 |
A nurse comes in, but with company. My heart drops seeing the doctor behind the nurse.
"I'm sorry I tried everything-" that was all I ended to hear before my knees buckled, and my legs gave out underneath me. I sunk to the ground crying, screaming. No matter how much you try to prepare for the worse, you never prepare enough. I felt Ryan's arms grasp around me, holding me tightly. Nothing felt real, my first child has gone too soon. Everything went numb, the tears kept pouring out.
@mckaylablaney: ten years ago you taught me to be a mom, you taught me, unconditional love. you had a contagious love for life and were always up for an adventure. i am sorry you had to go through so much pain so young. i will always love you, you'll always be my first child 💛
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@blaney: My coach, my princess, my firstborn, you came at the most unplanned time for your mom and I. You ended up being such a blessing to us. Life is unfair sometimes, and if I could've, I would've taken your place in a heartbeat. You had so much life and love in you it was almost unfair. I love you Peyton Elizabeth Blaney and I always will. Rest in peace baby girl.
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