Behind A Smile ✔

7

"You're such a disgrace to this family. I pray dad never forgives you for this." Rashida seethed from the other side of the door.

Zynah swallowed the painful, huge lump in her throat and her sobs came in choking sounds. In all the years she had lived with her sister, she still couldn't comprehend why she was hated by her so much. She had tried to talk to her severally, but her efforts were futile. She refused to give even a listening ear to her and made her look like a fool talking to herself. Weren't siblings supposed to support one another in time of need? — she asked herself inaudibly.

"Hey! I'm speaking to you. I hate to be ignored — you know this, right?" She hurled. Her distasteful behavior hadn't just begun, but still, Zynah was in no way close to getting used to it. Each day was a new, flabbergasting episode for her. She never ceased to amaze her with her two-faced attitude. A duplicitous lady — a chameleon in disguise. She acted all good with her whenever their parents were present and the complete opposite whenever they were alone.

Zynah didn't notice her sister's presence in her room, until she spoke hoarsely. "Dad asked me to bring you this." She said, dropping the plate of food in front of her.

Raising her head, their gaze met. "I don't have an appetite." She spoke softly. Barely audibly.

"Wow!" Rashida breathed heavily. "You don't have an appetite! Well, good for you. If it had been up to me, I wouldn't be doing this, but dad specifically told me to make sure you have something to eat."

Zynah's head snapped to her direction abruptly. "Has he forgiven me?"

"You can ask him yourself." She rolled her eyes and sauntered out of the room.

Knowing her sister wouldn't tell her anything no matter how desperate she was, she decided to follow her and persuade her. Her dad's anger towards her wasn't healthy for any of them.  Fortunately for her, Rashida forgot to lock the door. She took the opportunity and hurried out.

Firstly, she went to her room and when she didn't find her, she decided to look in the kitchen and luckily for her, she was in there. "Ya Rashida."  She called as she took a stepped a foot into the kitchen.

Spinning around impetuously, she yelled. "What?" Her eyes suddenly widened at some realization unknown to Zynah. "Who let you out?"

"You left the door o—"

"I did." She cut her off. "Does that mean you're..." She trailed off, seething. "It's your aim to get me in trouble with dad, right? Sorry to burst your bubbles, but it's not going to work." She hissed and grabbed her by the arm.

Zynah's gaze darted to her sister's hand around her arm. "Please, let me go." She pleaded. "I just want to know if dad is still upset with me or not."

Not listening to her pleas, she proceeded to drag her out of the kitchen.

Out of impulse, Zynah yanked her hand away. "I said let me go." She repeated, her eyes red from crying so much and perhaps from anger as well. She was getting fed up, putting up with her aggravation.

An awestricken Rashida gazed at her with her lips agape. Perchance she hadn't expected her to retaliate. She had always tolerated her maltreatment in silence. Not even their parents were aware of the fact.

"Please just tell me; is dad still mad at me for the mistake I committed?" She continued.

One glare from her was the confirmation Zynah needed to know she wasn't going to blurt anything out to her. Sighing heavily, she turned around and was about to leave the kitchen when she felt a hot liquid being poured all over her right leg. She let out an agonizing scream. "Aaahhhhh!!!"

Jerking awake abruptly, Zynah was sweating profusely. With the hem of her dress, she wiped the sweats that prickled her forehead and started making duas (supplications)

After she was done with the duas, her gaze darted to Bilal, who was sleeping peacefully on the side of his bed with no worries at all.

She averted her gaze from him again. "Why does my past keep hunting me?" She asked as a lone tear escaped her eye. Her hand trailed down to her leg and she caressed the huge scar that was birthed on that fateful day. The memories of her past will never stop hunting her until the day her soul finally leaves her body. It will always linger on — she was certain.

Ramlah — she remembered her younger sister and more tears fell freely like a loose faucet from her eyes. She was the only one who supported her. The only one who had sleepless nights with her. Whenever she would wake up in the night due to thoughts preventing her from sleeping, she would stay awake with her and keep her company. She really did miss her. Closing her eyes, she visualised her in her mind. Smiling. How she wished she could turn it into reality. To be able to see her smile once more. To hug her tightly and never let her go for a really long time. But it was impossible — she had to remind herself.

Lying back done, she shut her eyes tightly and prayed for sleep to overshadow her once again, but when her prayers weren't answered, she tossed and turned around restlessly. She cringed as Bilal stirred and finally awoke from his sleep. Why wasn't she careful? — she mentally reprimanded herself. Now he wouldn't allow her dwell in peace in her state of melancholy.

"What's wrong with you?" He groaned and in the next second, his soft snores could be heard.

Zynah heaved a sigh of relief. She hadn't expected him to not react negatively.

Knowing she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, she got down from the bed and ambled to the bathroom to perform wudhu (ablution) — she would use the opportunity to pray nafl (voluntary) prayers, instead of lying idly on the bed. She spent some extra hours making supplications to Allah and praying for the wellbeing of her loved ones.

The day broke slower than she had anticipated. Immediately she was through with fajr (dawn) prayer, she sauntered downstairs to the kitchen to prepare breakfast — it had always been a routine for her.

After thirty minutes or so, she was able to prepare a breakfast of fried eggs and toasts. She had hers in the kitchen and Bilal's was put in a flask for she didn't know when he would wake up. Normally, he was a late riser.

Placing the flask on the table, she heard the doorbell ring. She wondered who it was as she sauntered towards the door. Before she could open the door, the person had started pounding furiously on the door. "Hold on." She hollered, but that didn't help give a tad bit of patience to the unknown person as she continued pounding away.

Unlocking the door, Zynah turned the doorknob. "I told you to b— Nazmeera?" Her eyes widened in horror. Was she hallucinating? It can't be! It can't be!! — the words kept on chanting in her mind like a mantra.