Chapter 15: Ways out

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It has been almost four days since I've been home. I spent one night at Lorenzo's house and two at the clinic. I felt better as long as I was away from James. I needed to admit it: I was scared. I couldn't trust James anymore at all. I didn't know what to expect anymore. He grabs me by my wrists and tightens his grip roughly, he and his brother threatened a man with a gun, he doesn't let me do what I want, yet he tells me he loves me and begs me to stay. But the worst thing was what happened to Avery. I still wasn't completely sure, but James was unpredictable.

It was another long day at the clinic. Mostly sitting at my desk and drowning in my own thoughts and fears. I wasn't well. I constantly felt stuck, like I was falling into the same hole as soon as I climbed up. I barely ate, my nights included about two or three hours of sleep and I was just feeling terrible.

Tasha tried to help me, she even came to the clinic and brought me food, tried cheering me up and talking to me. But it all felt needless. Most of the food lay on the small table by the wall in front of my desk and went bad. I was stuck and I couldn't get out. And the meeting with the great Nathaniel King that I needed to go to in a week was probably not going to work anyways.

Lorenzo tried to reach me several times. I answered once, lied that everything was okay and that I was just busy. Ofcourse, that man didn't believe me. He always noticed how I truly felt. He was really incredible. But did a man as wonderful as him deserve a woman like me? Someone with barely a hint of hope, someone lost and stuck with so many problems, someone who wasn't even able to build a family. He deserved better. Maybe his love for Donna would come back, just like she did. Marco deserved a good family and Lorenzo... He deserved true happiness.

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On the way to my appartment, I was shaking, feeling a lump of fear in my chest. I cracked my fingers one by one, which I never did, nervous, scared to enter my own appartment. It was late, James was probably in a bar or somewhere like that by now anyways, was what I kept telling myself.

I entered the appartment slowly, stepping in like I was sneaking into someone else's house.

❞James?❞ I shouted, swallowing hardly.

I heard footsteps and a rustling sound, coming closer and closer and becoming clearer and clearer. I swallowed again, not even noticing my eyes that stretched out like they've just seen a ghost.

❞Ma'am?❞ Martha spoke with her soft voice, appearing from the guest bedroom where she used to sleep sometimes.

I sighed and leaned on the wall, ❞Martha, it's just you.❞ I closed my eyes.

Martha looked confused for a second, but her expression radiated grief, disappointment and a hint of anger. That was when I noticed the two bags held by her weak, veiny hands. And her maid uniform under her arm.

I felt my eyebrows scrunch in confusion, my eyes going from the bags in her hands to the uniform and up to her sad brown eyes. I was just about to ask her if something happened, but she started speaking as
soon as she saw my mouth open.

I'm sorry, ma'am.❞ Was the first thing she said, ❞I can't continue working for you.❞ She paused for a second, ❞You've treated me better than I expected ever since I started my job here. You stood up for me when your husband was being... rude, you gave me days off to see my grand-children whenever I could, you paid me more than I deserved.❞
She inhaled deeply, ❞Thank you, ma'am. I'm very grateful.❞

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