Familiar Strangers

Chapter 16 - Not Again

*This chapter was added after I posted what was originally Chapter 16 and is now Chapter 17 because I thought it was needed. Sorry for the confusion! 

Chapter 16 - Not Again

Kiran

My heart beats hard inside my chest and my breathing increases. This can't be happening. This can't be real. I just saw her an hour ago and she was fine. She was fine! This is all my fault. I made her go get the stupid jacket! She's hurt and it's all my fault. A shiver runs through me and I barely feel the arm that wraps itself around my shoulder. My eyes stare blankly at the seat in front of me too lost in my own mind to notice the car has stopped and that someone is calling my name. 

"Kiran, we're here." Someone says and I start shaking my head frantically. "It's my fault. It's my fault." My shoulders quake with loud sobs and rapid breathing. I feel like I've lost control. My body won't listen to me. My mind is racing at a hundred miles per hour and all I hear is my own desperateness to seek control of the situation. 

"Kiran!" Liam yells shaking me awake from my panic attack. I blink up to him in a daze; I had no idea he was there. "Hey, you're alright. Everything's fine." His large hand cups my cheek and our eyes connect. His beautiful brown eyes stare steadily into mine. "Focus on me, love. Breathe in nice and slow. There you go, good." I do as he says my breathing returning to normal and my head clearing enough to notice the warmth of his hand. Liam brushes away my tears and smiles reassuringly. "Are you okay now?"

I nod and close my eyes to gather myself. I haven't had a panic attack in years. Ever since dad died I've felt one creeping up on me but I've managed to keep it at bay. Kai's accident must have triggered it. "I'm fine, I'm good. Sorry um that hasn't happened in a while. I'm usually able to get a hold of myself before it gets bad." I sigh and open my eyes to find three pairs staring at me with worriedly. 

Liam smiles and squeezes my hand. "Nothing to be sorry for, I can imagine this situation is overwhelming." A tear runs down my face as I nod and smile gratefully. 

"Come on, we best get inside." Niall says motioning towards the hospital doors with his blonde head. His blue eyes are dull and worried. I forgot I'm not the only one scared about Kai, there are now seven more people who love her too. We make our way inside and Liam holds my hand the entire walk until we spot Kyle, Harry and a pacing Louis. Kyle is hanging on to Harry for dear life and he appears to be calming her down while Louis looks frantic. His strides are fast, his hair is disheveled and he's muttering to himself. 

Zayn stops Louis and he looks up surprised. "Any word?" Zayn asks squeezing Louis' shoulder. At his voice Kyle's head snaps up and her gaze lands on me. Her face is splotchy and her eyes are red with tears.

She breaks down and jumps into my arms. "Kiran." Her voice quivers and I know she needs me right now. I know I have to be strong for her. "It's okay Kyle, shhh. She's going to be fine." I reassure her but the truth is I really don't know. The uncertainty threatens to throw me over the edge again but I  can't let it. Kyle needs me more than ever and I need her too. Without her to look after I would be a wreck. 

Twenty minutes later Leah and Avril arrive looking frantic. "Oh God I'm sorry I had to pick Avril up from the studio and she had to tell Simon and he had a lot of questions." Leah explains out of breath and she immediately takes a seat next to Zayn. 

Avril walks to me and hugs me tightly. I have a feeling that comforting hug was for the both of us. Even though Avril doesn't show it I know she's feeling shaken. "How's she doing? Any word?" She asks as she too sits down. I shake my head. 

"Nothing yet." Louis answers looking exhausted and older than his twenty two years. I feel like Louis's beating himself up over the accident. There is a guilt in his eyes that seem all too familiar to mine. I begin to wonder what exactly happened at Louis's flat but that will have to wait for later.