Chapter 32 - Hang on
"Okay. Remember what I said" Mum sends me a pointed look, juggling a coffee mug in one hand a satnav in the other.
I roll my eyes "yes, yes I know" I make a cross over my heart "I will be an angel."
Nan stands close behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder "we will be fine A... Sarah" I raise an eyebrow, obviously there was an 'and' there.
Mum leans over me and kisses Nan on the cheek before squeezing my shoulder and pecking me on the cheek "stay safe and do exactly what your Grandmother says Scarlett."
I sigh and nod "fine. I'll see you on skype later. Call me when you get there." Mum flashes me a grin before moving back towards the car where Casey's waving through the window at me, pressing her lips to the window and sending me soggy kisses with a mushed-up face. I laugh and blow her a kiss, she grins toothily at me before turning to Mum as she slides in the car.
I wave one last time as I watch the car move swiftly away from the front of the house, leaving me and Nan in the house.
Alone.
This is going to be great.
I step back as Nan grabs the front door and closes it saying cheerfully "it looks like it's just you and me Scarlett. Do you have plans for this evening?" she turns to look at me, her eyes sparkling with a bright light that makes it hard for me to be mad at her but I'm stubborn.
"Yes. I'm going to see Zeya. Lacey's picking me up in two minutes."
Nan's face drops slightly, but in a flash, it's gone. A soft expression washes over her face "has she not awoken yet?"
I wince "No, not yet" my voice is hard and clipped.
I struggle to look Nan in the eyes as she hesitates before saying "can we please make these few weeks, maybe months as painless as possible Scarlett? It's been over a month now; can we please talk about this?" I clench my jaw pausing the furious speech I have on the tip of my tongue as we square off to each other in the centre of the entrance hall.
I cross my arms over my chest, unintentionally erecting barrier number 2229 between us "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Nan sighs and brushes a hand through her obsidian hair "are we really not going to talk about this like adults. I don't want this whole thing ruining our relationship" her voice is calm and tentative, as if she's poking the beast as carefully as possible, but with the intention of starting something.
My eyes flash and my fists curl in anger "I can't believe you, this HAS ruined any relationship we ever had, and I don't even remember it!" I snap angrily. A flash ignites in Nan's deep blue/grey eyes, as if this is the reaction she wanted from me. Well, she's got it and she's not going to freaking like it.
Two minutes alone and we're already arguing.
Isn't this just great.
Nothing says family bonding like a little afternoon warfare.
"It's only ruining our relationship because you're allowing it too. You need to let go of the past before you can move on" my stomach clenches. I can never let go of the past. It haunts me every day. Follows me everywhere I go like a shadow, although detached physically remains bound to my very soul.
Destined never to escape it.
"I can't let go because it's the past that shapes us Nan and my past has sure helped shape you! Just not in the way you hoped, but whose fault is that? Huh? Well those were your actions and this..." I indicate between us "is the consequence."
