I'm An Assassin, Not Your Mate. (UNFINISHED)

chapter 29

I paced throughout my room. I could do this. I can forget everything I was taught growing up right? Yeah sure I could. Maybe. If I try really really hard.

"Come on you've faced down monsters, horrible horrible monsters and you can't even confront your own feelings?" I snapped at myself.

Okay I can do this. I love Tristan, I just have to figure out how to tell him without looking like an idiot. Well I've never said it to anyone before so of course I'm going to look like an idiot. Do I just go out and say it?

But what if the director's right and Tristan thinks I'm lying to him. I mean I wasn't exactly nice and loving when he was his nice self. Why would he believe I loved him now when he's done some pretty awful things?

"Then convince him you dummy."

"How?"

 I stopped pacing. I'm losing my mind. I literally having a full conversation with myself.

"Breathe," I sucked in a huge breathe and let it out shakily "All you have to do is stop being so cold and heartless and just let the walls down and let him in. He's my mate, I can trust him. Baby steps." I started pacing again. I so can't do this.

"Would you stop pacing!" I heard him shout. His office was somewhere below my room. Oops.

"A plan!" I declared loudly. I needed a plan!

"Plan to be quiet!" He shouted back up. I huffed and sat on the bed.

Okay baby steps. Maybe if I do little things that show him I like him he'll start to lose his very icy shell. Well it's more like I'm trying to melt Antarctica. Maybe I could also find a way to get the pack to stop fearing him so much. But there's no way I can do all this on my own.

I skipped down the hall to Stacey's room and knocked on the door. She opened it and narrowed her eyes in a playful look.

"And why do you look so happy?" She asked suspicious.

"I love him!" I whispered shouted. I didn't need him to know just yet.

She squealed and pulled me in for a hug. We were jumping up and down laughing when the grouch shouted at me yet again.

"Quiet!" Was all he barked out this time. We giggled and went into her room.

"Wow I've never seen you like this." She pointed out.

"I know, I don't know what it is but I feel..normal? I guess that's the word. I don't feel like I have to be cold and calculating. I feel happy." I smiled.

"You feel in love." She laughed.

"Yeah I guess that's it." I put my head it my heads, slightly embarrassed that I just confessed I was in love with her brother.

"I don't think you'd come knocking on my door just to tell me that though?" She couldn't stop smiling.

"No I need your help."

"Oh? With what?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Tristan has this pack, well basically every pack, terrified of him right now. Wolves are meant to fear their alpha, it keeps them submissive, but they shouldn't fear for their lives whenever they see him. So, I think that we should do something fun." I told her and when she grinned I knew she was in.

"I love fun! What do you have in mind?"

"A carnival, like a giant fair. We invite all the packs, they don't have to show if they don't want to, we don't want to force them, but we should encourage them to come." She fist pumped.