Silenced

Chapter 22

                                My hands trembled as I obeyed his command. My legs had already gone numb. I just hoped the rest of my body would do the same. I couldn't bring myself to imagine what he was going to do. I held the shirt tightly against my chest with one hand and tugged my hair over my shoulder with the other. I willed myself to close my eyes but I couldn't. I was stuck watching him. His eyes lowered slowly over my body. I realized just as slowly that he was looking at my scars. His eyes settled on a claw mark that was across my hip. Then his eyes shifted down. Just bellow my underwear was the scar that had reopened, the fresh blood. His eyes lowered again, down to the bite mark on my calf. He raised his eyes back to my arm. There was another scar there closer to my shoulder. It was from a claw but not as obvious. He stepped forward. His gaze fixed on my wrist before going back to my eyes.

"Turn." His voice shook. He kept it low but I could hear the tremor. My stomach flopped painfully. Panic welled up in my chest. I obliged. My hand tightened in my hair. Holding it firmly. There were scars on my back, butt, and thighs. There was also another slash from one shoulder to mid back. It had healed well enough but the scar was obvious and unmistakable. I felt the heat of him before I realized he had moved. His fingers brushed over the slash marks and then down to the yellow and green bruising along my ribs. I shivered and blinked back tears. His hand was gentle as he turned me back to face him. This time I was able to shut my eyes. He tilted my face up by my chin but I didn't look.

"Who did this to you?" He asked quietly. My shoulders shook with the force of fighting back a sob. He sucked in a harsh breath and stepped back. It was exactly what I needed. I shoved the shirt over my head and pulled on the sweat pants. He didn't stop me. The safety of the clothes helped but it wasn't enough for me to pull myself together.

My shoulders shook with another attempt not to cry. I covered my mouth with both hands. I was terrified of the pain that would come if I couldn't get a grip. I didn't know why having him see my scars was hitting me this hard. Maybe because no one that had seen them cared.

He reached out slowly. The warmth of his hand on my arm was almostpleasant. I didn't even flinch. He shifted forward and wrapped me into a tighthug. His scent flooded my nose and his warmth seeped into me from everydirection. The forest after a fresh rain. It was a pleasant lull against thenightmares. I grasped his shirt. He was my anchor and I desperately needed one.

When my shaking and crying stopped I decided to pull away. Despite his firm hold his arms released me the moment I showed resistance. I stepped back and wiped my face. I was whole again or as much as I could be.

"Your scars aren't from a rogue..." He said. I lowered my eyes to the floor. I was drained. I didn't have the energy to lie. I shook my head but held out my leg and shook it a little. The one there, on my calf, was from a rogue.

"That one?" He asked. There was a tiny bit of humor under his serious tone. I nodded with a small smile. I couldn't help the sniffle as I was still trying to recover from crying.

"Jesus Rylan, those scars..." He shook his head and crossed his arms. "I knew you weren't being honest with us about what happened but this..." He shook his head. "This is so far beyond what we thought."

'I didn't lie.' I signed.

"We don't think you lied just that you were leaving out a lot..." He sighed. That was definitely true but I wasn't the only one.

'and you.' I signed.

"Me?" He asked. "I'll tell you whatever you want to know leannan. I'm not keeping anything from you on purpose."