Silenced

Chapter 32.

            I was forced to sleep on the couch but Silas kept his promise. I was permitted to sleep. I woke up with a raging headache and I couldn't remember most of what happened. Emily filled me on what she knew and Matthew gave me something for my head. I hated that I had to take a pill  but it helped with the headache significantly. I didn't need to stay on the couch with my head between my knees and the rest of my body didn't seem to hurt either. Cassy came over around 10am. She looked almost as bad as I had before my shower.

'Headache?' I asked wondering if Matthew would let her have some of the same pills. Cassy shook her head.

'What's wrong?' I asked.

"Jason and I got in a fight last night." She said quietly. I could hear in her voice she was already close to tears.

'What happened?' I asked.

"We've been dating for a long time and he wants to go to the next level but I want to wait... I'm almost 16. I want my first time to be with my mate and even though I'm pretty sure Jason is my mate I just... I want to be certain and he doesn't want to wait. He's already waited so long... Last night he tried and it turned into a huge fight. He thinks I don't want him as my mate but that's not it at all." She said.

'He's trying to pressure you into sex?' I asked with a scowl. I wasn't surprised . Jason came off as a very demanding and pushy person. He was a couple years older than Cassy and I could remember how pushy high school guys could get.

"No he just... He really loves me and he wants to have this connection physically as well as emotionally. I just don't know if I am ready." Cassy said.

'Cassy, he has no right to try and push you into this. You want to wait and be certain that he is your mate. There is nothing wrong with waiting. If he can't appreciate that you want to wait for your mate it is probably because he isn't your mate. He is afraid that once you turn 16 you will realize this and his chance at ever having sex with you is out the window.' I signed. Her eyes widened.

"Do you really think so?" She asked.

I nodded.

'I don't see any reason for you not to wait. If you want to have sex with Jason, even though he might not be your mate, then that is ok too. But if you don't, you want to be certain, and you aren't ready, then don't do it.' I signed.

"But I think he is going to break up with me if I don't." She said.

'If he does it only proves that he is an idiot.' I signed.

"Maybe but it also shows that I'm some up tight prude. A ton of girls my age have already had sex." She said.

'Those girls aren't you and I can guarantee that several of them regret it. I know a lot of girls my age that wished they had just waited.' I signed.  

"Did you wait?" She asked. "I mean...I'm so sorry... I didn't mean..."

'I've never had sex.' I admitted. 'I guess in a way I was waiting for my mate, my assigned mate. To be totally honest I don't think I have ever kissed anyone. I mean I've been kissed but I've never initiated a kiss.'

"Really?" Cassy asked.

I nodded.

'I was always too busy to focus on things like that.'

"Do you think that you might ever... want to?" She asked.

I shook my head no. I couldn't imagine ever wanting to have sex after everything that had happened.

"Have you told Thomas about what happened?" She asked.

I shook my head no again.

"I've heard that talking about it sometimes helps..." She said.

I shrugged and shook my head.

'In my case the less that... people know the better off I am." I signed.

"By people you mean Aaron, Silas, and the council?" She asked.

I nodded.

"Would you tell me?" She asked.

'What do you want to know?'

"All I know is that something really bad happened. From some of what I have heard around and seen it seems like you were raped and that caused you to lose your wolf...?" She said. I nodded slowly.

'I can't talk about it really. For some people I know it helps but in my... situation if I say to much then I might get sent back and I can't...' I shook my head.

"Back to the man that..." She asked.

I nodded.

"They would never do that to you!" She said horrified.

'It's complicated...' I signed. She nodded.

"I know what you mean..." She said pulling up the sleeve of her shirt. She had a fading bruise that looked to be a hand print on her arm.

'Did Jason do that?' I asked. I could feel the heat of anger slowly creeping up my neck and shoulders. She nodded.

"He drank too much and we had that big argument..." She shook her head and pulled her sleeve back down. "It was an accident, he's really sorry, but I don't know what to do."

'There is no excuse for that Cassy.' I signed. 'I would start by dumping his sorry ass.'

"But it was an accident." She said.

I shook my head. I was at a loss for words. I couldn't believe that she actually thought this was something she could work through.

'Is this because you think he is your mate?' I asked.

"I can't risk losing my mate before I even get him." She said.

'So if you could be certain that he isn't your mate, would you break up with him?'

"There's no way to be certain until I turn 16." She shook her head.

'Does Jason think he is your mate?' I asked.

"Of course." She nodded.

'So, what's something a mate would never do?' I asked. 'I'm pretty sure from the way you were describing it they don't lash out at each other like that.' I gestured to her arm. Her eyes widened and clouded with tears.

"They can't..." She shook her head slowly as she thought. "It causes them pain if they hurt their mate in anger."

'Was Jason in pain when he did that?' I asked.

She shook her head again.

I felt like my point was fairly obvious. In Cassy's version of a mate hurting each other wasn't something they would do. I knew better from my own experiences but it showed that Jason hurting her meant he wasn't her mate. If it was going to protect Cassy to play along with their version of mates I could do it.

"Oh my god..." Cassy said quietly. "I think you are right. Jason isn't my mate."

I nodded.

"I have to break up with him..." She said.

I nodded again.

"Will you come with me?" She asked.

Her question caught me off guard. I paused mid nod. She wanted me to go with her? I wouldn't be any help if Jason got angry and lost his temper.

'Maybe Aaron or Silas should go with you?' I signed.

"No, I can't tell them about this. Silas isn't even here and he would just get super angry and Aaron would tell me 'I told you so'. They didn't want me to date Jason in the first place so this..." She shook her head.

I wanted to disagree. I couldn't imagine either of them teasing Cassy about this. I did understand her fear though. Maybe just being there would be enough to support her.

'I'll come with you.' I agreed.