Still Holding On (Jenlisa)

Chapter 4

Lisa's POV

The moment those words left her lips, I nearly lost all self control. I knew if I did it, I wouldn't be able to take it back. By this point, it was more than just 'wanting' her. I wanted everything. I was physically drawn to her, but I knew that whatever it was that was happening between us, was much deeper.

"Jennie, tell me to stop. Please. Don't let me-"

I was silenced when she turned and pressed her lips to mine. This kiss was different from the first. It was slow and hesitant. After several moments, I felt her pull away.

"What are we doing?" She whispered.

"Fucking up Jin's life" I said as I walked away.

"Lisa!" She called out. "Wait!"

"Wait?!" I snapped turning around to face her. "Wait for what Jennie?" I asked. "I don't even know you but you're all I fucking think about. I've kissed you twice already despite the fact that the ridiculously large diamond that's wrapped around your finger was placed there by my fucking brother!" I yelled.

"You think you're the only one that has a right to be angry?!" She hissed. "What about me? You practically eat me with your eyes every time we are in the same room! Every time you get close to me, I fucking lose all self control. How do you think that makes me feel? I'm going crazy because of you and I don't even know why!" She yelled back.

I could hear the thunder as it shook the house. I almost laughed at the irony. I looked into her eyes and saw so many questions. I recognised the hurt and confusion immediately. Beneath all of that, I could still see the desire. I swallowed the lump in my throat and took a deep breath.

"I think it's probably the best if we keep our distance. Whatever it is that's happening between us, we are clearly not equipped or even able to deal with it. " I tell her, my voice slightly shaky.

"We can't just avoid each other" She responded.

"Yes. We can" I told her as I back away.

"I want to know you Lisa. I want us to be friends. I want us to get past this" She said pleading with me.

"I don't know" I answer.

"Promise me." She said. "Jin told me that you never break a promise. Promise me that you won't try anything again"

"It's not that simple Jen" I sighed.

How do I explain to someone that they literally physically cause me pain when I'm around them? How do I tell her that my heart started beating frantically around her? How do you even tell someone something like that?

"Please." She whispered. "I need to have you in my life." Her brown eyes were begging me.

"Why is this so important to you?" I asked.

"Because it's important to Jin" She answered.

I ran my hands through my hair, closed my eyes, then let out a deep sigh.

"Okay. I promise"

She walked over to me and wrapped me in a hug. I wanted to die. Right there and right then. She held me a little tighter and a little longer than she should have. I could tell she was breathing me in. I had absolutely no idea how either of us was going to be able to do this. I felt her pull away slowly. The longing in her eyes as I backed away damn near killed me. She looked so sad.

"I'm going to get some air" I told her as I walked away.

"I'll find you later" She said to me before I made it out of the door.