Vanna

twelve - Unstable

I wasn't one to use the word hate. I felt there was nothing to fit the definition of that word, but I guess I was wrong. I hated the Devil, I hated Lucifer.

I hated how he played me and strung me along in his game. He strung me along from the very beginning, even if he hadn't known from the very beginning all this would happen.

I hated his stupid smirk and his stupid laugh. I hated his witty comments and poetic words. I hated how everything he had said those four days ago in that treacherous cage was right. Everything he had said held nothing but the truth, and I hated it to my core.

I hated myself for believing him and being so naive. I hated myself for trusting him.

I had never felt hate before, but I was now, and I was one hundred percent sure the feeling was never going to cease.

My emotions had been a whirlwind and I didn't know how to control them. Everything about me had been thrown into wack. At random moments pain enveloped my body and my light exploded all around me. Sometimes my light would stay aglow for hours at a time, and I could tell it was affecting hell too. There would be earthquake-like tremors that shook everything.

It got so bad the ground split in the room and I could see the field through the floor; I could feel the heat coming up from the lava river.

Lucifer had tried to come in the day after our fight, but I wouldn't let him. He even tried making my power submit to his dark clouds but even my light was too powerful for that, so he hasn't been back since.

I screamed out when the pain washed over me again and my light burst from my body. I dropped to the floor and stayed there a while after it had gone away.

I was finally able to make it to the bathroom without being completely overtaken by intense pain. I was completely shocked when I looked in the mirror. It wasn't because I looked like crap, it was the complete opposite.

I started to poke my face just to make sure what I was see was really me. I mean, I was an angel and I knew of many things that seemed impossible, but this was far above that.

My hair volume intensified and darkened to almost jet black. My lip seemed to be more pouty and red. Light freckles danced from one cheek across my nose to the other. My body was much thicker in size. I could tell I had more meat in places I didn't before. Now that it was brought to my attention my dress was becoming restricting. When I looked myself in the eyes I jumped a little. Instead of there normal hazel they were a fierce gold.

I stumbled out of the bathroom unsure what to do. I fell to the ground again in anguish. This pain was starting to fill me with anger again.

Anger was becoming a feeling I felt often since I arrived in Hell.

However, I was relieved once I felt my dress become less like a strangling serpent.

I laughed at my unintentional pun. Lucifer was definitely a strangling serpent. He coiled around you until you lost hope of everything completely, and then at the last moment, he let you get a breath of air into your lungs and then smothered you completely.

But, oh don't be fooled. He was an addicting creature when he wanted to be. At moments when the pain was worse, I had a great desire to rip the door off its hinges and let myself melt in his arms.

Every part of me craved him, but oh god almighty I hated that man with every fiber in my body, and I just wanted to go home. I wanted to forget any of this ever happened.

I wished to wake up from this terrible dream, but I was extremely terrified because I knew I would never wake because this wasn't a dream. 

I trudged to the bed; tears falling from my eyes, and wrapped myself in the dark smooth blankets and breathed in the sent of Lucifer. The smell of think cinnamon and fire filled my nose. It was a strange combination, but it made my tears stop.

I curled myself into a small ball in the middle of his bed. I let myself sink in this empty feeling. I was the angel of love, light, and beauty, but I was hardly feeling any of it.

I wanted to feel those things again, but I was forgetting how. I could feel my heart hurting and my light was flickering.

"What happens when an angel lost all their light," I thought out loud.

I didn't even flinch when the door crashed open. My eyes remained on the canopy of the bed. I was emotionless, I was so done. I was ready for my end. My heart felt so icy cold, like my mind.

"My Little Angel what have you become."

His words reached me before the sight of him did. His hand cupped the side of my face and his tired face appeared blocking my view of the top of the bed.

I let my eyes fall closed as he rubbed his thumb across my cheek, across the bridge of my nose, over my lips to the tip of my chin.

I couldn't help the tears that started to spill again.

"What's wrong, Little Angel?"

I stuffed my face into the blanket as he pulled me into his lap. My body became ridged and burned with anger, and I did something I never thought I would ever do.

I punched him in the chest and screamed out in frustration and anger. After the third punch, his large hand wrapped around my small fist and held tight.

"Don't be violent Vanna. Please, tell me why you are so upset," he said in a calm tone.

"I HATE YOU LUCIFER, I HATE YOU SO MUCH. BUT...BU-"

"But what Vanna?"

"Why can't I-" I cut myself off when the light burst from my body and the pain came back, but it was different this time. I could feel dark tentacles dancing with my light and it made the pain so much more bearable.

My body fell limp in his arms and I knew I was going to pass out. Warmth filled my heart when Luc laid me on the bed again and covered me with the blanket.

Just as he went to get up and leave I grabbed his arm. I almost forgot what I was going to say when his now sad blue eyes met my own, almost.

"Please stay." My whisper was so hushed I almost didn't hear what I said myself, but I knew he heard me when he laid next to me and pulled me into his chest.

Not even a minute after I passed out completely and the pain in my chest lessened slightly.