Alone {𝕄𝕀ℕ𝕊𝕌ℕ𝔾}

Chapter Fifty-Nine

FELIX WALKED INTO MINHO'S HOSPITAL ROOM AS SOON AS THE DOCTORS HAD FINISHED THEIR check-up on his brother. His mother had just received the call that he was awake, and she said she'd be leaving work early that day.

He backed out quickly, because he thought Jisung at least deserved to know that Minho was awake, and the latter's phone had been destroyed when he'd landed in the water, so he wouldn't have been able to text his boyfriend himself.

"SUNGIE":

[Minho's awake]

He closed his phone and pushed open the door to Minho's room, and awkwardly stood there, loitering around the edge of the room before he sighed and took his seat on one of the chairs next to his brother's bed.

Everything came rushing back to him the moment he sat down; all the pain, the fear, the grief... it was enough to cause tears to well in his eyes. Ever since he'd found himself in that very hospital for the first time, he'd felt so undeniably guilty.

He was so afraid that the last thing he'd ever say to his brother was to leave him alone. That's not what he wanted. Not really, anyways. He opened his mouth to speak, but Minho beat him to it. He hadn't drifted his eyes away from the ceiling, almost as if he hadn't realized that Felix was there in the first place.

"I didn't jump." His voice was hoarse and soft, and Felix had to lean forward to clearly understand him. Minho turned his head slightly to face his brother, his eyes slowly meeting the other's. "I slipped." Felix sat back in his seat, his eyebrows coming together in confusion, but Minho didn't elaborate.

"I'm sorry, Felix. For all that I said," Minho blinked hurriedly to fight off the incoming wave of tears he knew was coming. "Me too." Felix replied, clasping his hands together tightly. "I'm sorry too." It wasn't much, but it was a start, and that's all the two of them needed.

~#~#~#~#~#~

As more and more days past, and still, there was no sign of Jisung in the school halls, Jeongin's guilt was almost as deep as his despair. He didn't know what had happened to the blonde boy, and he knew that even if he did manage to gather enough courage to confront Jaehyun about it, he'd never be told a thing.

He now sat at lunch, picking at his food. Strangely, his bullies hadn't harassed him that day, but he wasn't complaining. "Have you been able to contact Jisung lately?" Felix asked Hyunjin, although his tone was hesitant, as if he was shielding some kind of truth.

Hyunjin's eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head. "No... I though he was just grounded or something." He awkwardly scratched the nape of his neck, and Felix's eyes widened before he smiled. "Yeah... you're probably right," he mumbled, and forced a smile.

Jeongin felt his breath hitch, and suddenly he wasn't hungry anymore. As if he wasn't distraught enough already, but even Jisung's friends didn't know where he was. He abruptly stood up from his table and tossed his lunch into the trash can before he practically sprinted out of the cafeteria.

It's all your fault. Jisung could be hurt, and Jeongin had no way of knowing. Of all the things he'd done wrong in his life – this was by far the worse. He collapsed against an empty row of lockers, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he tried to level his breathing.

His breath caught in his throat as invisible hands tightened around it, and he gasped for the breath he knew he could get if he could calm down. But he couldn't just calm down. He'd always been prone to anxious fits and meltdowns in moments of extreme stress, and he liked to think that he'd gotten better at managing it, but he still fell to his own clutches sometimes.