Jenlisa's Curtain [Short Stories]✔️

23- Fix Me (Pt. 4)

JENNIE

'It's okay.. We will face this together.. '

'It's okay.. I'm here.. '

'Just call me anytime if you need me.. '

Her touch, her voice, her stares, her words.. Everything about Lalisa Manoban is strangling my need, the need to be protected, the need to be take care of, the need to be owned.. I close my eyes..

What have gotten into me? What did that trainee counselor does to me? This counseling thing was a joke for me, from the start... I was fired from my job before I went to meet the counselors, my awful rude self made me quit from many different works. I have an explicit complex personality that made me hard to control my anger and mood swing, I even suspect myself to have a bipolar and anti-social symptoms.

My manager ask me to quit the job and suggest me to cure my mental illness before proceeding on finding a new job. Hell.. Did I care? I'm not sick.. I know that.. But am I? I'm not insane right? I know certain fact that mental illness could be inherited from gene.. My father was a little bit off from any sane human, am I like him?

That's why.. I went to a counselor company to find out.. although I
don't really believe that they can cure me, I'm just playing with them.. Counseling was a joke, till I met Lisa..

I go the bar again, to fuck with any girl I can hook with, I have no motivation, I only screw myself more if I stay at home doing nothing, I tend to get crazy with all the fear, I should be finding a job, but I'm not in the mood, I need a good break to start on my feet again. Don't underestimate me bitches.. I have a degree in account and finance, I'm quite a good student back on my college days. Surprise? Duhh..

"same as always? " I sit on my usual spot, left side of the bar counter. I nods at her. "How was your counseling thing?Are you less crazier now? " I roll my eyes and sip the tequila. Camila always know the best for me, she's my regular conversation partner in this bar, well.. The one and only person I can engage with, is she my friend? I don't know.. We only chat on this counter.

"I think my counselor is attractive" I say while roaming my eyes around the bar, searching for someone unfortunate, or maybe lucky.. Because I'm so good on bed but I've never been serious with relationship.. The traumatic event since my childhood day, watching my father beat my mom till she nearly dead everyday left a deep wound in my life, I hate man because of that.. I hate relationship and afraid of it.

Camila smirks at my words. "Wew.. I've Never thought that you're into someone with manner.. " she sit infront of me and fill my glass "Yeah.. I'm surprised too.. " I admit it, she's different.. Just different "Tell me her name" I look at Camila, narrowing my eyes. "Hey.. Hey.. Please don't misunderstand, I just want to know her name.. I already have Lauren.. " she rise both of her hands and laugh at my expression. I snort at her remark.

"Tell me about her Jen.. It's unusual for the great Jennie Kim to be attracted to someone..unless it's for sex" She lean on closer to me, her face glitter with curiosity. I sip the glass "I've been changing counselor since I decide to seek help from them, but meeting Lisa was something.. Magic.. From the first time I saw her, she sent me a soothing feeling, that was different, only my sister could do that to me.. " I remember her tender warm stares, her gentle touch, I feel more secure.. I feel protected.

"uhh.. Jennie, for your informoation, people in counseling or psychiatry area wouldn't accept gays counselor/psychiatrist, that's mean, maybe Lisa isn't gay or bisexual, so yeah, you know what I mean right? .." Kill joy, damn you Camila. I flick my stare to her, darting her mouth with a fury stares. "Who care? I knew it already."