Iron Dad One Shots (mcu)

Avengers: Exposed

A/N: Requested by athenastarkwannabe06. I'm so sorry it took this long.

I might do a part 4 to Under the Hood, I might not. Also a reminder that requests are CLOSED right now until I catch up on everything else. Thanks!

Also: wanna ask me something? My Tellonym is in my bio! Come talk to me!

~

"What's your favorite color?"

Clint's eyes flickered from the screen, in the middle of an intense game of Mario Kart with Bucky (he was in first, of course), to Peter. "Uhhh... I don't know, probably purple."

Peter looked down at his phone and typed something in quickly. The phone made a little ding noise, and he lit up.

"Thanks!" He chirped, and sauntered out of the room.

He tilted his head in confusion. Why did he want to know his favorite color?

"What was that about?" Bucky mumbled. Clint knitted his eyebrows together and shrugged.

"No clue."

The sound of something exploding could be heard on the TV and Clint whipped his head back to the screen just in time to see himself get blue shelled and subsequently passed by a snickering Bucky.

"Goddamnit."

*

"Are you and Bruce dating?"

Natasha near choked on her drink. She quickly brought the martini in her hand away from her bright red lips and wiped away the dribble left on her chin with the back of her hand.

Of all the things that could've resulted from bringing Peter to a fancy gala, this was not one of the possibilities she'd thought of.

She brushed her hair behind her ear and laughed, a little nervously. A deadly assassin was nothing to a curious teenager. "Uh... we used to be. But, no. Not anymore."

Peter nodded and pulled out his phone, typing away. "Thanks," he hummed.

"Why do you want to know?" She asked him. Not because she felt threatened, but because she was genuinely curious.

Peter opened his mouth to answer, then snapped it shut. "Ummm... No reason."

Nat shook her head and took a another sip of her martini as Peter waddled away to find someone else. Christ, what was Tony telling that kid?

*

"You've never had chicken pox, have you?"

Tony looked from the road to Peter, sitting in the passenger seat munching on McDonalds french fries. Personally, Tony thought that type of food was disgusting, but according to Peter he was just a 'privileged white boy' who didn't know what true taste was. So, he had that going for him.

"Actually, yeah, I have. I was like, six. Why, are you getting sick?"

Peter shook his head and licked the salt off his fingers. "Nah. Just curious."

*

"When's your birthday?"

Steve stretched, not paying the boy much mind. He was in the gym, for the first time in a few days, and though he preferred training in isolation h didn't mind the curious teen coming to visit him. "July 4th."

He could hear something hit the mat. He paused and took a quick peek behind his shoulder seeing Peter's phone on the floor and his eyes blown wide.

"What."

Oh, yeah, he knew what was coming. He rolled his eyes playfully and started, "It's just a coincide--"

"Okay, so," he interrupted, "you're Captain America, national treasure, patriotic symbol and a beacon of hope for Americans -- hell, human beings everywhere -- and you're telling me, your birthday is on July 4th." He sounded absolutely incredulous.

"It's not that big a deal--"

"It's the biggest deal! Wait -- do you consider those firework celebrations for you? Cause, I totally would."

His face reddened. "Well, when I was a kid I used to think--"

"Do you cook a pig for your birthday instead of having a cake? Or -- or, is your cake decorated like an American flag? Oh my god, Captain America shares a birthday with America! Do the people at your party--"

Peter continued to babble mindlessly like a four year old that wouldn't stop asking "why?" to everything and Steve could only shake his head in amusement. How Tony deals with this kid, he'll never know.

*

"How many PHDs do you have?"

The Hulk growled as he slammed his fists down and decimated another sentry bot. Peter swung away just in time to avoid the blow and landed on the green beast's back. Hulk shook his body almost violently like a dog that's been the rain to rid himself of the little arachnid.

"Hey! Calm down buddy. I asked a simple question." Peter reprimanded, sticking onto Hulk's back as to not get thrown off. Hulk didn't like this, as he released a primal roar and threw his hand behind him to grab Spider-Man.

Peter flipped back and landed a few feet away from him. He crossed him arms and tapped his foot impatiently. "Well?"

Hulk growled once more and swiped at Peter. He dodged easily and spun around to fight the other sentry bots.

"Alright, whatever," he grumbled, "I'll just ask Mr. Stark next time."

*

"How old are you?"

Thor near jumped out of his chair. Christ, that scared him. "Starkson!" he yelled, seeing the brown haired boy looking up at him with those doe eyes. "How did you get to Asgard?"

"Unimportant. Please answer my question."

Thor blinked. Who let this child come to Asgard unsupervised? How did he even get here? What the hell was going on?

"Boy, why are you here?" He asked, instead of answering his question.

"I needed to ask you something."

"Why...?"

"...Reasons." He murmured. "Just tell me? Pleeeease?"

Thor huffed. "If you must know, I am 1,500 years old."

Peter looked shocked at that answer. Thor didn't understand why. He pursed his lips and looked the god over. "...Oh. Well... you don't look a day over 1,000."

Thor nodded, still confused but willing to take a compliment. "Thank you, Starkson. Now go home."

*

"Aha!" Peter cheered, jumping into the lab excitedly. "I did it!"

Tony looked up from the metal arm he was working on (Bucky kept losing arms, for some fucking reason) and glanced at Peter. "Huh?"

"I am an Avengers master. I know everything about all of you."

He raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"Oh, you know, just that I got 100% on the Avengers quiz!"

"The Avengers what?"

"Mhmmmm." Peter hummed, pulling out his phone. He flaunted his 100% score to Tony and batted his eyelashes in a cutesy-innocent way.

Tony looked through it and rolled his eyes. "Those stupid quizzes online? They don't mean anything."

"Uh, incorrect, it means I am the Avengers knowledge master of the world."