Confused Heart (PJM.FF) [Completed]

Part XI

“I don’t want to rush anything but ............. can you be my girlfriend?”.

I almost choked and for sure he saw how my eyes went wide. Mixed emotions were rushing inside of me. Emotions that I can’t personally fathom. I just recently experienced these kind of things and I really don’t want to add another confusion to my heart and brain, because as of now I know I am in total chaos when it comes to Eros.

“I.....I......I”, I stuttered.

“It’s okay if you can’t answer now but please think about it”.

“I will”.

He stared at me and gave me a peck on my forehead before going back to his car.

I instantly rummaged through my bag to get my phone when I entered my apartment and decided to call one of my bestfriends because I really need a drink right now.

“Hello, Hobi?”.

“Hi, baby? How was the double date?”.

“I need a drink”.

“That bad, huh?”.

“Can you come here and drink with me?”.

“Sure. Be there in 30”.

“Thanks”.

I changed into comfortable clothes and true to his words, Hoseok arrived after 30 minutes with beers on his hands.

“I’m guessing the dinner didn’t go well?”, he put the drinks at the coffee table and both of us slumped down and started to open one beer each.

“Actually it went well. It’s just that....”, I’m not sure if I have the courage to tell him about my present crisis.

“You can tell me everything, Na Eun”, Hoseok clasped both of my hands, maybe he noticed how worried I am.

“Hobi, please promise me you will not get angry”, I pleaded and gave him a hug.

“Why do I feel that you’re hiding something from me and I know from experience that whenever you do this, you have done something that will irk me up”.

“Please? Please?”.

“Fine. Now, what is it?”.

I inhaled deeply before opening my mouth, “Jimin and I had sex”.

“I already knew that”.

“Again”.

“WHAT THE FUCK!!!!”. Hoseok’s eyes went wide and he stood up, pacing back and forth.

“I am really going to cut his balls, freaking whore”, he was so mad. He kept on brushing his hair with his hands.

“Hobi, I started it. He doesn’t want to but I basically begged him to”.

“You what?! What the hell were you thinking?”, he sat beside me and clutched my face.

“I don’t know”.

“What do you mean? How did you initiate the sex?”, he let me go and waited for my answer.

“I tried the thing that you taught me”.

“Oh Lord, No!”, he facepalmed.

“I thought, since he was my first and also my bestfriend that doing it with him was fine”.

“Na Eun, I taught you how to suck dick for you to do it with a boyfriend since you’re just starting to learn the pleasures of sex but I didn’t expect you to do it with Park fucking Jimin”. He released an exasperated sigh, as if I am a rebellious teenager who badly needed a sex education from a parent.

I cringed at his words. I actually expected my confession will make him more irate. That went well. I chugged the whole bottle before talking again, “and also, Namjoon asked me to be his girlfiend”.

“That’s great. So what is the problem? What are you worried about?”.

“He is a nice guy and everything. I mean every girl will be happy to be with him , it’s just.....I kept thinking about Jimin but not in a friendly way”.

“Damn! Baby girl, you’re in big trouble”.

“Yeah? Well, tell me something I didn’t know”, I sarcastically said and drank half of the bottle I just opened. Even Hoseok drank his bottle dry.

“What should I do, Hobi?”.

“Okay, I will be more understanding about this because both of you are dear to me. My question is .... what are your feelings towards Jimin?”.

“I don’t know but I was just baffled this past week because I haven’t heard from Jimin since that night and I am upset about it”.

“Baby girl, I think you just scared the shit out of him”.

I was confused.

“Look at it this way, he never once had sex with a girl except you and not just once but twice. To top it all, he is currently dating Yoongi”.

Shit! I didn’t realize that Jimin’s current state was worse than mine.

“Oh, what have I done?”, I guiltily said and buried my face on Hoseok’s chest. His embrace was a huge comfort.

“We don’t know yet, baby girl. We don’t know yet”.