Stuck Between Gangs

Chapter Eleven

We sit in deadly silence. My laughter died off after my mother repeated few times her idea of taking me to Spain along with her new family. I don't understand how you even get that idea. How does it cross your mind to abandon your daughter for a month and then invite her to Spain? And with no one else, but with the man who you left her for. 

"I'll give you some time to think about it. But Amelie, you have to let me know your decision by the end of next week.", she says hurt "I know I did wrong by leaving like that. But trust me when I tell you I'm sorry and I don't want that coming in between us. Please, let me make it up to you with this trip."

All you can hear is my shallow and unequal breating going through the silence that's permeating the house. 

Thousand questions but not enough answers are inside my head. Thousand outcomes, reasons, possibilities of how it might end up. I picture all kinds of scenarios in my head. None of them ends up positive.

What do I do? My whole body is refusing, telling me not to go. But there's a little part of me which wants to give her a second chance to make it up and explain her acts. However, that part is sileneced almost immediately. She doesn't deserve it.

"I'll think about it.", I break the awkward silence. 

I notice a sincere smile slowly forming on mother's face. Dad and I, in other hand keep that hard neutral look. 

We look at that woman who thinks she can flip our lives upside-down, come back again and expect to make up for it by travelling. Like I said, this is not a fairytale.

Not long after we talked to her, we manage to politely get her out of the house. It became too much for us to take. I can finally breathe. Until i remember I brought dad up into my plans for the night. Maybe I can wangle from talking to him?  It's going to be risky, but it's worth a shot. 

Just when I put my foot on first step, I feel his arm on my shoulder. He doesn't squeeze or pull me, he just put it there. 

I turn to him, giving him a childs' smile when they know they did something wrong. He keeps slightly amused look on his face. So close.

"Not so fast.", he says with taunting smile on his lips.  

I shiver on those words. "Not so fast" were words by that guy who pulled me to Noah. I think I can feel my bones literally shaking from fear. I get rid of those words. Now is not the time.

"When were you planning on telling me about the party, young lady?", he tries to put the strict voice on, but it's really not his thing. 

"I was about to text you just when you called me.", I answer with frisky smile. 

"Just in that moment?", he frowns "You found out about a party in that exact moment?"

I sigh. How do you talk to dad again?

"Amy told me maybe half an hour before you called me. I just didn't know how to ask you if I may go.", I say. 

I see some sort of sadness in his eyes. He frowns for some time and then he softens his face. 

"Worm, I don't want us to have that kind of relation. I know we never had some special relation, but now when we finally do I don't want you to hide things from me.", he speaks from his heart "You don't have to be afraid to tell me things, you can talk to me about whatever's on your mind."

I shed a tear because of his words. So this is how it feels like to have a dad.