Veiled Diaries #2: Mask of The Blues

MOTB 39

#MOTB39

I waited for it.

I waited for the call back after that night, I waited the next day again until the third day...

I inhaled deeply.

Hey, Embry Zobel. The Zobel I married inside the tradition, I never regret anything even though I told that I'm not thankful. It was a neutral feeling in a happy way because I had you, you married me despite of your dislikes. I already know why they matched us, Auntie Izabeth loves you and she wants you to be free early from the marriage. Hindi naman ako nasaktan sa kaalamang iyon, nasaktan lang ako noong minahal kita at minahal mo ako na hindi naman dapat mangyari.

I truly appreciated your beauty as my wife, as a woman and as a daughter who obeyed what everyone wants to not hurt the family. I know that you've been in love to someone all these years, totoo pala iyong sabi nila na first love never dies as your affection for it didn't fade even denying it to yourself. I totally understand you, you tried to love me and I felt it purely. That's so overwhelming. I felt the stand of your love for me, thank you for that.

I want to say thank you for everything. I hope you get your freedom without any grudge anymore because that's what I've been trying to give you since the time you married me. I always want you to feel the happiness without thinking more bout how forbidden you are to the outside place or people because you are not. Nobody owns you but yourself only. Keep that, make yourself happy.

Embry, I'm sure you'll have the chance to read this text once I did not make it. I love you but my time isn't a long story to continue until the end. Choose your own path and place where you'd find your comfort and contentment.

Tears are descending on my cheeks so free. My forehead wrinkled while looking at my cellphone. It was a cold night as wind goes along with the sadness and darkness I'm feeling, I was sitting on the porch swing but my feet suddenly felt so soft. Tears continuously falling down, I stood up and scanned the wide place of our front yard if there's someone but I found no one.

Sa bahay ay wala rin akong makakausap, sa lahat ng nabasa ko ay isa lang ang pinakamalinaw sa akin ng oras na iyon. Venturi didn't make it, it was on the text already. Funny how I don't know what happened exactly and that's making me so angry and crazy, ang dami kong gustong itanong pero wala naman akong mapagtanungan.

Wala sa sariling isip ay lumakad ako palabas ng hacienda, I walk away to reach my comfort place right now. I wish it would help my mind breathe from everything, mas lumamig pa ang hampas ng panggabing hangin sa aking balat habang naglalakad sa maisan.

Venturi did not make it.

I cried while walking. "He left me... for real. He left me, he didn't make it." I started running and covered my both ears.

I hope I can cover myself from everything now, I don't want to feel the darkness. I don't wanna be there.

Ang dami ko pang gustong gawin sa aming magiging buhay at ang sakit-sakit na nawala iyon ng parang bula dahil sa balitang ito. Narinig ko agad ang tunog ng aking cellphone, tumatawag si Statice. I couldn't stop myself from being emotional.

Naupo ako sa damuhan hindi pa man nararating ang lawa, pagod at walang lakas na magpatuloy. I bowed my head and inhaled so deep, I dialed Venturi's number. Ayaw kong maniwala, gusto ko siyang marinig na maayos. Matagal iyon bago sinagot.

"H-Hello." that's Izzy's voice, on the background was Auntie Celine's whimpers. "E-Embry."

Pumikit ako ng mariin, kailangan ko pa bang tanungin iyon? Kailangan ko bang marinig ngayon ang katotohanan?