Anxious // Grayson Dolan *Removed for editing*

2.0

*trigger warning*

Weeks pass and Grayson and I only say a few sentences to each other a day. He usually asks me how school was and I lie and say that it was well. Jessica still won't leave me alone. It's non-stop verbal abuse and I can't stop it. I don't want to upset Leo by fighting again.

Leo is still pissed at Grayson. Grayson has tried to talk to him, but Leo just ignores him. I hate that I did that. I made Leo fight with his best friend.

I've been eating one meal a day, usually something that Ethan or Leo makes. I've slipped up a few times, but it's still progress. I'm doing better. Sorta.

I get home to an empty house from a particularly rough day of school. Jessica knows exactly what to say to hurt me. I drag myself up the stairs to my room and throw my bag down. I stare at the cabinet in my bathroom, curiosity running through me.

I leave my new phone on my bed and walk into the bathroom, locking the door and stripping down to take a shower. I turn the shower on, but turn back around.

I have to do it.

I take the scale from the cabinet and step on, gasping at the number. I hold my hand over my mouth to silence my cries, even though no one is home. I knew I have gained some weight, but I didn't know I gained this much.

Panic spreads through me, my hands itching and pulling my skin on my thighs. I don't wanna do it. I don't wanna get better.

Before I can realize what's happening, my thighs are covered in blood from my unbitten fingernails. I fucked up again. Like I always do.

I jump when there's a loud knock on the door.

"Luna?" Grayson questions, his voice holding slight fear.

"I'll be out in a second!" I yell back. I quickly get my hair wet and wash my face so he thinks that I was actually showering. I turn the water off and wrap a towel around me, cursing again when some of the scratches are visible. I pull the towel down to cover them, cringing at the amount of cleavage showing with the towel so far down. I open the door and find Grayson sitting in my desk chair. His eyes widen when he sees me, quickly looking me up at down.

"Fuck" He whispers, more to himself than me. I roll my eyes and go into my closet to get dressed. I put on some black sweatpants and a different hoodie from Jace before leaving my closet. I sit on my bed, looking at my lap.

"Whose hoodie is that?" He questions, shifting nervously. I roll my eyes again, looking up at him.

"It's Jace's, calm down," I tell him. He looks at me, furrowing his eyebrows. He stands up suddenly, walking to me and gently grabbing my face to make me look up at him.

"Have you been crying?" He interrogates. I push his hands away, shaking my head. He searches my eyes.

"You're not doing again, right?" He confirms, his face serious as he glances at my arms in the hoodie. I quickly shake my head again.

"Show me" He demands quietly.

"Seriously?" I scoff. He nods. I huff and pull up my sleeves and show him my wrists. The scratches from weeks ago are almost completely healed. He looks at them, sighing in relief.

"What are you doing here?" I ask quietly.

"Leo has a late shift and Ethan's out somewhere with his girlfriend. Leo asked me to come to watch you and make you dinner" He explains softly. I hold back another eyeroll.

"I'm not a child. And I'm not hungry" I argue. I'm definitely not eating after seeing how much I weigh.

"You haven't eaten today" He retaliates. How would he know? I shrug, laying on my back.