Hidden Wounds

Part 6

"Well look what the cat dragged in." My mother taunted me as she held the door halfway open.

"Mama let me in." I begged.

After our last episode Anthony had been away from the home more often than usual. He was ignoring me, acting as if I were invisible. I wasn't sure if we were even going to be in a relationship for much longer and if he was gonna throw me out on my ass I needed a Plan B; especially since the doctor confirmed I was nine weeks pregnant. I had considered an abortion, but how fair was that? Although I wasn't going to terminate my pregnancy, I wasn't going to bring my child into a toxic household. I knew the way Anthony treated me wasn't right, but I was still in love with him. In our three years he was still the only person that looked out for me and cared for me, he only hit me when I acted out and if I didn't act out I wouldn't get hit. I just knew that I didn't want my kid to see any of it, which was why I opted for adoption. I had talked to a worker and she informed me that once I was past the miscarriage stage I would be able to start looking into families and things like that. I was going to give my child the best damn family I could find, but until then it was my little secret.

"Why? That man beating on you? I told you don't come checkin' for me once he knocked you upside ya head. Gone somewhere with that shit." She snapped, still blocking me from getting in.

"That's not why I came here." I lied

"Mm-hmm. Then why after damn near a year are you standing on my porch? You can't just be here to visit."

"If you would let me in I could tell you damn!"

"Unt un! They cussin' at they mamas' where you been staying? 'Cause I don't play that 'round here."

"So you're not going to let me in?" I asked in a softer tone.

"Hell naw! The last time you stepped foot in here I watched you let your man disrespect me and throw you around like a rag doll. Now if you and him ain't here to give me a mutha' fuckin' apology, get the fuck off my porch." She replied nastily before she slammed the door in my face and locked it for emphasis.

I stood there in shock, I knew she was mad but damn! That was over a year ago, I was her only child why the fuck was she treating me like this? Tears sprang into my eyes as I swallowed my pride and knocked on the door again.

"Go away Lina! Come back when you and that man are ready to apologize!" I heard her scream through the door.

I shook my head and backed away from the door slowly, hoping she might open it back up, but she didn't. I had caught a cab over here in hopes of just staying, but now I was out here alone. My mama was the only other person I had, and she wasn't even feeling me. I knew I should've been on my way back to Anthony's house, so nobody would notice I was gone but, I didn't even care. I was feeling hopeless at this point and my emotions were all over the place thanks to the baby. I walked over to my childhood park and sat on an empty bench. Putting my hands over my stomach, I started to smile. The little person growing inside of me was so innocent and unknowing. Comfortable and safe in my uterus while I took on the coldness of the world. I imagined myself with a baby, and I started to feel like I had something to look forward to. Even if nobody else loved me, this little guy or girl would! I made a mental note to cancel my adoption option the first chance I could. I was going to keep my baby and start a new life, and if Anthony couldn't keep his hands to himself, then shit I was going to be one single ass mom. I pulled out my phone to call another cab and waited patiently on the bench, talking to my unborn child. When I get back to the house it was eerily quiet, there were no maids running around, I didn't smell any gourmet meals being made, and all the lights were out. I managed to get up the staircase and into the bedroom in the dark. When I flipped on the light switch I gasped. I wasn't expecting to see Anthony sleep in the bed. It was only 7pm, but he was under the covers snoring as if it were the middle of the night. I looked over at his night stand and half the bottle of Belvedere was gone. I shook my head, he had been hitting the bottles heavy lately. I sat down quietly on the bed, slipped out my shoes and my clothes. I was almost to the bathroom when Anthony woke up.