Forked Roads Back

36 - TESSA

"I THOUGHT YOU'D GONE," Jamie says finally, both of us still breathless from the kiss.

I'm now on his lap, one of his hands in my hair, the other at my hip.

I shake my head and lean back slightly. I know how he would assume that... as he doesn't know I'd inadvertently dropped into a time-sucking vortex with three days going by without me realising.

"I wouldn't leave," I whisper.

"No one knew where you were."

I half laugh as I look into his eyes. The redness has cleared, and the skin under his eyelids is no longer puffy, but his eyes still look lost. But as I smile, they brighten more, before a smile covers his own face.

"I was here. I was in bed."

His expression falls as he realises what I mean.

"Tess, I'm so sorry. I will always be so so sorry for what I said to you. What I did. I'm surprised you're even talking to me, to be honest. I'm surprised anyone is. And Emily being pregnant is not something I can use as an excuse. I should never have done it and I am so sorry."

"It wasn't just you. I overreacted."

I run my fingers through his hair. It's greasy but I don't care. I love running my fingers through his hair because it's so soft and it helps soothe me just as much as it soothes him,  I can tell. I kiss his forehead, his nose and then I lean down  to kiss his lips.

He kisses me back for a split second, but then he pulls away. "Listen, I-"

"No, don't." I sigh. "I overreacted. I should never have asked you to leave. I should have let you explain... Like I am now."

I kiss him one last time before resting my forehead against his.

"I don't want to lose you, Jamie."

He sighs, almost not believing the words were coming out of my mouth, but then he kisses me soundly, closing his eyes and holding me close.

"You won't lose me. I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

With those words, all the anger I'd felt towards him, anger that had been running through my mind the last three days, completely melts away. All I needed, all I wanted, was to fix what we had, and hearing those words were all I needed. From Jamie's reaction, it's what both of us needed.

"I'm not going anywhere either, Jamie. And I love you too. I love you even if you freaked out..." I joke.

He smiles.

"And besides, who am I to criticise when you've put up with way worse from me."

He frowns but his smile widens. I haven't been honest with him about hearing Archie's voice in my head, but that's not something he needs to know. It's not exactly normal to hear a voice in your head... Telling Jamie about him was balm enough, I couldn't put him through thinking I was crazy. But on top of me being honest, it prompted him to be the same, telling me about Emily. One would say that in an imperfect world, Jamie and I perfect  for each other.

"You've done more for me this year than you'll ever understand, Jamie, and there's no way I can thank you enough. The fact I've been able to love someone again, after what Archie did... how he left..."

I beam as his smile widens.

"It only makes me love you m-"

He pushes his lips to mine, cutting me off as he pulls me closer to him.

Suddenly I'm alight with desire as he pulls me back onto his lap, feeling the bulge in his trousers harden beneath me.

I need him, and he needs me. We need each other and that connection, and as his mouth moves, almost in a frenzy against mine, I give myself completely to him, pushing all other thoughts out of my mind.