After filling up a bowl full of warm water and getting a cloth from beneath the kitchen counter I head over to the boy that sat perched on the edge of the sofa with one leg shaking at a sort of rhythmic pace while he chewed at the nail of his pointer finger.
A sense of deja vu washed over me and the same tingle of apprehension and mystery flushed across my body as the first time that jungguk was in my house after the whole incident.
Despite the trauma I had received earlier in the night I somehow find it within me to push it to the back of my mind. I knew that tonight Jungguk unknowingly had to face his biggest fear and the road ahead was only going to get worse. It's a good job that he has a group of people now to help him fight his battles rather than him having to take all of the shots by himself.
Im glad about the fact that we came together. It's like ever since then we have both had a person to lean on and express ourselves too that we just didn't have there before. We both have issues that root from our parents and that allows us to relate in a deeper way.
I get to the settee and plop myself down next to him, fixing the bowl of water in the nearby table, thus allowing him to break out of the trance that he was in.
" got a lot on your mind? " I question as I reach into the bowl and dip the flannel in for the first time
He removed his arms from his torso area and scoots closer slightly
" I guess I do " he replies clearly distracted " how about you though. I know you're trying to put up a wall and block it out. You should talk to me. I would have been broken if I had to go through what you did today"
I go quiet knowing full well that if I start I won't be able to stop myself. I think he could sense the apprehension as he exhales heavily and says " how about I start first hm? "
I nod and proceed to clean him off as he starts to talk
" well I just feel kinda powerless I guess " He pauses him thoughts briefly to let out a small wince of pain as I brush over a certain part of his abdomen
I nod slightly urging him to continue
" it's just I can never get away yanno no matter how hard I try. I guess in someways I feel better now than I usually do "
He flinches slightly again as stray droplets of water ran down his bare torso
