May comes in like a lamb; Umbrella Academy

14

Mary sighed, staring down at Klaus, who was unconscious and half naked on the couch. She looked at Five, who motioned for her to go on. She gently shook Klaus, turning away when he started to stir, not wanting to look at his spandex, which left little to the imagination.

"Oh, look at this! My favorite not-really 14 year olds!" Klaus gushed.

"We need your help."

"Moi? Really?" Mary turned to Five, a displeased look on her face.

"I don't think he's the guy for this job."

"Nobody else is here." Five shot back. Mary huffed.

"Let's get this over with."
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   Mary had never been more self conscious than she was at that exact moment, walking down the street with Five and Klaus. She realized how insane they must've looked, many people casting them glances and giggling or raising their eyebrows. A group of teen girls sitting at a cafe had made eyes over at Five, giggling to each other, and in response Mary froze them all. But it was an accident, so she didn't feel bad.

Not much longer after that she sat in the office of the man she had seen before, leaning back while Five tried to negotiate a way for him to see who the eye belonged to.

"Like I said to your son and daughter earlier, any information about our prosthetics is strictly confidential. You need consent for me to be able to help you." Mary scoffed, and Five leaned forward on the man's desk.

"We can't get consent if we don't have a name." He spat impatiently.

"Well, it's not my problem. Now there's really not much more I can do." The man replied. Mary stood, about to shoot something at him when Klaus spoke up.

"What about my consent?" Mary exchanged a 'oh shit' look with Five, both of them turning to Klaus.

"Excuse me?" The man sputtered.

"Who gave you permission...to lay your hands on my kids?" Klaus started to sniffle in a very not convincing way, and all three of the other people in the room drew back in confusion, all uttering the same word at once.

"What?"

"You heard me." Klaus said, almost challenging the man. His eyes went up to Mary and Five, who stared back at him blankly.

"I never touched your children."

"Oh really? Well how did they get their bloody noses?" Klaus challenged, standing up.

"They don't have bloody-" at that moment, Klaus went in between Mary and Five, grabbing the back of their heads and pushing them together. Hard. Both of them yelped, Mary pulling back with a gasp and covering her now gushing nose with her hand, tears of pain blurring her vision as her nose stung and thin blood seeped in between her fingers.

"Jesus." Five hissed, tilting back his head and holding his nose, all the while glaring daggers at Klaus.

"I want it. Name, please, now." Klaus demanded, resting his hands on the desk. The man's face showed pure horror as he stared back and forth between Klaus and his two, now wounded, "children".

"You're crazy."

"You think?" Mary snarked.

"You got no idea how crazy." Klaus chuckled. He then studied a snow globe on the man's desk, picking it up.

"'Peace on Earth." How sweet." Klaus gushed, before slamming it into his head. Mary gasped, and Five's expression twisted into one of both disbelief and disgust. Klaus yelled out in pain, blood, water, and sparkles dripping down his face from the snow globe. He hissed, "god, that hurt!" The man shakily reached for the telephone, grabbing it and starting to dial security.

"Hey." Mary caught the man's attention, making eye contact and freezing him. Klaus took the phone from him as he stared petrified at Mary. Klaus began to fake cry into the phone.

"There's been an assault...in Mr. Big's office, and we need security...now!! SCHNELL!!" Klaus tossed the phone down and took a deep breath, looking directly at the man. He took a quick look down at his name tag, "So here's what's gonna happen, Lance. In a couple of seconds, two of your security guards are gonna burst through that door, and they're gonna see a whole lot of blood, and they're gonna wonder what the hell happened." Five smirked at Lance, and Mary rolled her eyes, thinking how easy and not painful it would've been just to hold Lance at gunpoint and get him to give them the answers. 

Klaus continued, "And we're gonna tell him that you...beat the shit out of us." Klaus sobbed dramatically before sighing, "You're gonna so great in prison, Lance, trust me, I've been there. A little piece of chicken like you. Oh, my god, you're gonna get passed around like a.." Klaus started to rotate his hips, Mary placing a hand on her forehead and turning away in displeasure. Klaus laughed softly, "You're gonna do great! That's all I'm saying."

"Jesus, you are a real sick bastard." Lance said at almost a whisper.

"Thank you."

Finally giving in, Lance took the three injured freaks into the room where Meritech kept all their filing cabinets, searching for the eye.

"Huh. That's weird." Lance muttered while looking at the file.

"What?"

"The eye. It hasn't been purchased by a client yet." Lance explained. Mary, whose nose had stopped bleeding, turned to Five with a worried look on her face. Klaus, who had been sitting on top of the cabinets, hopped off and walked over to Lance, standing very "up close and personal"near him.

"What? What do you mean?" He asked.

"Well, the logs say that this eye...this can't be right...it says it hasn't even been created yet." Lance looked up at Five.

"Where did you get that eye?"