Xavier (1st bk of Wolfcreek Pack) (Completed)

Chapter 32

A/N: Who do you think followed her into the bathroom? If you don't know, don't worry, you'll find out in this chapter. And, holy crap. I am almost at 100 pages of writing for Xavier in my Google Document. This is amazing. xD

~Rissa

This is a cute gif. It is of Cass and not Xavier but someone else. Care to take a guess. ;)

If this becomes a movie, who do you picture the characters as? I'm just going to tell you now, (you'll find out in this chapter), but Cass actually has dark brown hair with gray eyes. Xavier as ya'll know has deep blue eyes and black hair.

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I made it to the toilet before I puked my guts out. My whole body shook as I finished throwing everything up and was dry heaving into the toilet. The smell of my throw up burned my nose, causing me to feel just as helpless as I had when I did have little food in my stomach.

The door to the bathroom opened, and his scent filled my nose. He stayed silent as he walked in and pulled my dark brown hair out of my grasp. "Got a bow?" he asked, his voice still the same as it had been all those years ago.

I didn't reply as I dry heaved again into the toilet and pulled a bow off of my wrist, presenting it to him.

Skillfully, he tied my hair into a bun just using the one that I had presented him. After he was done, he gently placed his hand on my back but removed it when I flinched.

I leaned my head on the toilet, panting. I closed my eyes, not ready to look at him, not ready to see the disappointment in his eyes that I knew wouldn't be there. "I'm sorry," I said, surprised that my voice didn't crack. "I didn't mean to flinch."

He grunted but placed his hand back onto my shoulder. He squeezed my shoulder reassuringly, causing me to instantly to grab his hand and seek his comfort. "What has he told you?" he asked.

"That you hated me," I said, instantly, not even needing to hide what had been said. "He told me that you would be disappointed in me because I a- was weak."

Commander didn't say a word. He waited for me to say something else, something that Camen had told me that was not true.

"He told me that you wouldn't send people if I called. He told me that I was too... worthless and weak to be a part of the Guardsmen, to be a part of the Alpha Beta Omega Gamma Delta Psi."

Commander set his jaw, and I could sense the anger coming off of him. He took in a deep breath and let it out, trying to relax. "You know what he said isn't true, right?" he asked, his voice gentle and firm.

Slowly, I nodded my head. I kept my head down, not wanting to look at him. I didn't want to see the look in his eyes that I could more or less read.

"Look at me, C-1-19-19," he said, calling me by my title. It was his way of telling me that I did belong, that I did matter, even though I had been told I wasn't.

I took a deep breath and let it out. My face was wet, and I knew that it was because of me silently crying as I came to terms with what was false and true. "Yes, Commander," I said. I turned towards him, letting go of his hand.

Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes and stared at the man that had helped me through the tough three to four years I had at the kingdom until I was placed in with the group that I was now currently a member of.

He was the one that helped train me day in and day out, surpassing everyone in the group and moving quickly through the ranks until I was announced as the youngest member a week after I had left the hospital after the Worber attack.

He was the one that wanted to make me his apprentice and for me to take over the day that he either died or retired from being the Commander as well as the man that my uncle asked for his opinion about the whole group.

He was the one that helped me become me.

Commander sighed and knelt, rubbing his mouth. He stayed silent as he studied me, his green eyes filled with pain and anger. "You know, I didn't first meet you when you were six. Do you remember when I first met you?"

I hesitated but nodded my head. "You came to the pack to look at potential recruits," I recalled. "I think I wanted to play tag?"

Commander chuckled and nodded his head. "You wanted to play tag with me. You showed no fear when you accidentally ran into me that day." He shook his head a bitter smile on his head. You just looked up at me with these wide gray eyes filled with mischief and smiled up at me. I knew that you were a handful at that moment."

I smiled, hesitantly, not knowing what to say. I knew that I could be a handful, but I always tried to make people laugh or smile. "My uncle told me to stop gawking at you and to apologize. He looked so embarrassed since I had run into you," I said, finally.

"He was," Commander said, nodding his head. "But, you apologized like he said for you to, even though I could tell that you weren't sorry."

"I don't think I was."

Commander nodded his head. "I told your uncle that it was ok and asked you what you were doing. You told me that you were playing tag with your dad, so I asked you who was it."

I stayed silent and watched as Commander drew into the memory of a long time ago when I hadn't shifted yet and didn't feel as afraid as I did now.

"You set your jaw and moved your finger, signaling for me to come closer. I did and you whispered "I am" before tagging me and running off cackling like a maniac."

He chuckled and so did I before he turned grave. "You were so brave then, and I knew that you would make a great addition to the recruitment if you wanted to become a Guardsmen." He blinked and looked at me, his eyes having this haunted look in them. "I didn't expect to get that call that I received about you. I didn't think I would see that little girl looking at me with these wide eyes filled with terror and fear, clutching a toy rabbit that saw better days."

I looked down, not wanting to meet his gaze any longer.

Commander sighed and lifted my chin until I looked at him. His eyes were filled with grief as he stared at me, and I could feel this amount of guilt in them. "On that day, I swore that I would never let you feel like that ever again. I swore that I would never see that frightful look in your eyes as you stared at me on that night."

I stayed silent as he pulled his hand away and bowed his head.

"And for that, I apologize. I have failed you."

I shook my head shocked. I was stunned that he made that promise to me, and I was stunned that he was apologizing to me, for something that he had no control over.

He was the one that had been my rock and the one that I looked up to. He was strong and fierce, but he had a good heart and was respected by all that meant him.

And to have him apologizing to me was something that I never expected.

So, I did the one thing that I had wanted to do when I met him again. I threw my arms around him and gave him a hug, stunning him and myself.

Commander stiffened and then placed his arms around me, causing me to feel safe.

"Thank you," I whispered, clutching him. "Thank you for giving me the strength to become who I am today. I don't know where I would be if I hadn't met you."