Rogue Queen ➵

➵ XXV. He Was Right

Saturday, January 13th, 2018, 7:00am

Rei's POV

The strongest people let themselves be weak.

My twin's words echo in my head. He mind-linked me a few days ago. That was all he said, then he blocked me out. He knows me, he knows I'll try to keep everything inside. He's telling me I don't have to always appear strong, that it's OK to fall and let others know I'm down.

Zaine's been trying to figure out what happened between Asher and I, I can tell. The way his eyes seem to be studying me, trying to see into my soul, and the way he seems to fret and worry over me, though he doesn't let it show.

Clove and Killian are suspicious too, they're all trying to get me to open up to them.

I haven't, it's not that I don't trust them, I guess I'm just... Not good at sharing my emotions with others. I'm used to keeping everything inside, not let anyone see, and put others needs before my own. I guess I just need to start remembering to take care of myself and my needs too.

As I sit on my bed, my eyes fall to the snow globe Raiden gave to me. I take it gently, turning the key on the bottom, then placing it back down on my nightstand. As the tune plays from the music box within the snow globe's base, the argument Asher and I had comes to the front of my mind.

He said Thatcher's controlling me. I said he's not.

He said we came back only because Thatcher said to...

...He was right.

Thinking over everything now, Asher was right. I can't think of anything else that compelled me to leave, other than the fact that a pissed off Thatcher is not something I want to face. I trust that Asher won't turn out like his dad, I could see the truth and honesty in his eyes. The rogues and attacks can be managed from Moonblood, all I need is to be able to mind-link them, and I can do that from anywhere with the Chains. And Clove can stay with us and be with Raiden.

I came back only because Thatcher said to. And now that I think about it, it's not the first time I've just blindly listened to him. I've joined him on various attacks that fall more into King's style of attacking for no reason rather than my own of rescuing others, just because he said to.

I scoff, thinking of how stupid I've been. I was giving him control over me.

But why? What makes me listen to him?

I remember when we first met, a few days after Lyria died, Thatcher and his group appeared in our temporary camp in the middle of the night, walking like he owned the place. He offered to make me his partner, another leader in the rogue world. I still remember his words.

"Treat me like a King, and I'll treat you like a Queen, sweetheart. But treat me like a game, and I'll show you how it's played."

That was when the Royals was officially formed. We were officially the King's partners, equals, and I became the Rogue Queen.

Thatcher helped me get a start on what I want to devote my life to, helping to save others who face abuse daily, and gave us what we needed to make a life for ourselves. Why does that make me feel so beholden to him that I pushed aside my own desires for his?

Pulling myself out of my thoughts, I think about my options. Stay, or go back. I want to go back. I guess I should first talk everything over with the rest of the Royals.

I groan and roll out of bed. I quick go to the bathroom and brush my hair and teeth before trudging downstairs.

"She hath arisen!" Killian says cheerfully.