It's been three years.
Everyone stayed in Hatchetfield after we graduated.
Turns out Sally and Bill had been together our last year.
In fact, he proposed to her yesterday.
To which she said yes.
I've spent the past three years single, one night stands occasionally, but only out of town.
Too much pressure if there's a chance I'll see them again.
Me and Paul are working in the same place, an accounting agency.
It's secure, but we both hate it.
Pays well though, Paul and Emma are always on holiday. Travelling.
One time they went to Amsterdam, and now Emma won't shut up about weed being legalised.
"It'll happen soon, I guarantee you!"
"Sure Em..." Paul always laughs and kisses her head. It's bittersweet for me.
Emma and Char still hang around with Henry, a little more than they used to.
And when I see him I smile, but I only ever get a small one back, if any at all.
I've seen him with guys, sometimes the same guy for a few weeks.
And sometimes it makes my stomach twist.
Those are the days I'll drive into Clivesdale and just get completely wasted to forget what was really going on.
Most of the time it is girls, occasionally guys, but it never means anything.
Never will.
Relationships are too much responsibility and I cannot handle that.
I have more fun screwing around with another mans wife.
I found out what Charlotte and Bill had been speaking about that night me and Henry "walked" into our room and saw them,
Bill liked Sally, and he was worried she would never be able to see him the same way back.
He was worried that she would find him boring.
Charlotte was reassuring him and giving him advice.
The only one I can remember is "Next time she says she's leaving early, offer to walk her home" luckily, it happened to happen that night.
Everyone elses lives are changing, they're becoming better. But I'm becoming worse. A drunken asshole 90% of the time.
I have a front when I'm in public.
But the moment I step home it disappears.
My bed has the same blue LED lights Henrys did, for some reason, when I first moved, I couldn't sleep well. I realised it was the fact I'd become so used to feeling calm with the blue lights my body couldn't handle not having them.
I had to throw clothes away that couldn't get rid of the scent of Henry. So all of my clothes were replaced. I still have one of his hoodies, but it's at the bottom of my wardrobe. I don't know why I held onto it. But I have. He never even wore them, but one time he wore it, and it fit him perfectly. On me, however, it was gigantic.
For some unknown reason, Emma had gifted me a Yankee candle one christmas, it was one Henry had in his hall. The first thing you would smell when you walked in. Pink Sands.
Again, that added to the beach like smell he had.
Last time I saw Henry his roots had grown out, so he had grey and black curled hair. He never used to even let a black hair show through. But he's met this guy. They've been together maybe a little less longer than me and him had been.
Who seems nice enough.
And he must be the reason Henrys started growing his hair, it suits him.
One time, I decided to stay in town when I went out, and I saw them having dinner.
Henry saw me and even though I waved, he pretended he hadn't seen me.
They were sat in a booth and he kissed Henrys cheek, which didn't get a very good response as Henry just pushed him away.
I know they don't live together as Paul felt like it was his duty to find out as much information as he could.
His names Dylan, Italian, he's a bit older than Henry (and everyone else), 26, and they met at a cinema. Romantic huh.
Henry never usually cares about pda, he used to love it infact. But I don't think I've ever seen them even hold hands.
I might just be reading too much into it, why am I still not over him.
We weren't even together long.
He's smiley all the time, and they make each other happy. And I envy Dylans.
He gets to see Henrys bed hair when it's covering his eyes and he can barely see. And he tries to get it out of his eyes and it flomps back.
He sees when Henry first gets out the shower and his hairs a curled mess and becomes a dark grey.
He gets to see how his face lights up whenever a song he likes comes on, and how he seems to become a different person as he dances along, when he goes really deep in his voice he used to flex his arms and do the Hercules pose. We'd always end in fits of giggles.
He gets to see how Henry becomes manic when focused, and will either shoot round at any sound or be so completely invested in what he was doing that he'd ignore even kisses on his cheek. It was frustrating, but also one of my favourite things about him.
He gets to see when Henry sometimes snorts after laughing too long and in return covers his face and scrunches it and he has a glow about him. It's cute.
Sometimes I see that laugh now, like when he's with Emma and Char.
I've never seen him do it with Dylan around, his laugh seems a little more fake.
