So long.
For so long I was stuck.
Alone.
Occasionally I would hear his voice.
Calling out for me.
I'd see him crying, and I can't do anything.
Stuck.
I never got the choice he told me he got.
I am stuck.
Forever.
I won't be able to leave.
All I'll see is the fucking black box and it's fucking water walls.
Sometimes I see the doors, and I see moments between us.
They're really odd moments.
The kind of things only Henry would remember, only things he'd think about.
Like that goddamn wire thing.
Where I tidied his desk, I didn't want him getting overwhelmed y'know?
It gave my something to do.
I watched myself unplug everything and untie it all.
Henrys face lit up when he saw it, he looked so excited.
My baby.
My pretty boy.
Such a beautiful smile, and voice.
He was so perfect.
So incredibly perfect.
He deserves happiness.
I'm glad it was me that got shot, it means he got out of Hatchetfield, he didn't have to be the one trapped here.
Trust me, I'm not saying I'm glad I died, but. Better me than him right?
He can move on in life.
Finally he'll be able to finish his PhD properly, manage to get a better job, one that lasts and is more secure.
As much as I loved seeing his face glow after he dances, or the way his hips move, or the way he looks so elegant as he glides across the floor.
Biology was always important for us, nothing would've happened if we hadn't have had Biology together.
I never would've been able to admire him from
behind, and wouldn't have asked him to help me with work, and we wouldn't have fallen in love.
Loving Henry was the best thing that could've ever happened to me.
Loving him and all of his imperfections.
Loving him and all his insecurities until they were no longer so strong willed.
The most perfect guys always have some imperfection.
And that's what makes them perfect.
Working through it.
I always admired that about him, he didn't sit and wait for someone to come and "save" him.
He'd do it himself.
Sure, just like any normal person, he would need support, and I was always there.
We were always there for each other.
It was us two.
He'd calm me down when I got too hot headed (which was way too often) and I'd calm him when he became too anxious.
The same formula for Henry.
Everytime.
Say he's starting to freak out and can't breathe.
Make sure he knows you're there but don't say anything or be too loud.
Don't move.
Let it calm slightly.
5 minutes space.
Let him breathe.
When it starts to speed up, pass him Puddles or a pillow.
He'll cry for about 2-3 minutes.
Don't touch him for those 8 minutes.
And then he will crawl into your lap and bury his face in your chest.
Everytime.
He sometimes fell asleep, it's exhausting for him, I couldn't imagine.
All I wanted was to take his sadness and give it to myself.
He didn't deserve that.
All he deserved was happiness.
Sure, like any normal relationship, we had issues.
But it was never anything we couldn't solve together.
Something in me always knew, that no matter what it was, I would go through anything as long as we were okay in the long run. Whether it was days, weeks, or months, or something worse. I'd always know we'd be drawn to each other again.
Oh god how I miss him.
I wouldn't wish death upon anyone.
Loneliness gets too much.
Sometimes.
I just want him here, keeping me company.
Just being able to see his soft figure and his enchanting eyes and hear his smooth voice whenever I want, well. I couldn't want anything else.
Ever.
Another door opens, and I walk into it.
It's a room I don't recognise at all.
Right now, everything feels different. I don't know what about it is different but, it's like I'm watching a memory.
Only, I'm not in this memory.
It's just Henry.
I walk over to him, and watch him slip under the water.
What the fuck?
He sits there, it's like his breathings stopped.
Is this a memory.
But he rises again.
Why's he fully clothed?
I try to reach out to him, I know it won't do anything.
He looks so sad.
His face is grey, he looks so lonely.
I've never seen him like this before.
The atmosphere is so incredibly melancholic.
Theres a glow, from the water.
What?
Henrys back under, and the glow is becoming more prominent. More obvious.
Shit shit shit shit shit.
"Henry!" I call out.
It's useless.
My voice is still weak.
It always will be.
Henrys breathing stops.
Is the water actually tightening around his throat? Surely I'm imagining it? Can you imagine when you're dead?
The blue disintegrates instantly.
And Henry doesn't rise.
The phone on the side of the sink rings and rings.
I walk over,
the name "Em" is displayed on the screen.
She better come over and check on him.
The ringing stops and then a text pops up.
*henry im outside ima let myself in*
Thank god.
Maybe theres a chance.
Part of me doesn't want there to be a chance.
I want to see him.
To touch him.
But I won't be able to.
I'm trapped, he wouldn't be.
I hear her voice shout out Henry from downstairs.
She is followed by a woman I don't recognise.
"Henry? PEIP have sent in a doctor for you to sort out the ringing with."
No reply.
"Henry?"
She starts to walk around, and sees nothing.
"I'll be one second."
There's a ring around her finger.
A pretty ring.
It's like a plant wrapped around it.
Paul must've proposed.
Ascending upstairs slowly, I try to push her in the right direction, my hands go through her.
Useless. And yet I still continue to try to push her.
Everything goes dimmer as she enters the bathroom.
And I can't follow her.
That clear box is back.
Blocking my path.
I slam my hands on it, repeatedly kicking it.
I hear a scream and then I'm back in the black room where I've been trapped the past, well god knows.
The last voice that spoke to me said "Approximately 10 minutes."
I'm pretty sure it's been more than 10 minutes.
However, I don't know how time works.
No one does.
Henry.
Is he okay?
He's not here.
Right?
I can't see anything.
At all.
Except the blue glow.
That blue glow.
From before.
Wait.
"Henry?"
I call out.
No response.
There he is.
That guy.
The one guy I will ever felt my heart start racing for, of course he made me blush.
But why?
Why did his perfect smile make me want to kiss him until his lips turned blue?
Because I love him.
That's why.
I run to him, and he runs to me.
No longer is he grey, and I don't feel my voice is as weak as it was before.
I pull him into my arms, and I can feel it.
The only thing I've felt other than this was the blood flowing out of my neck.
This is a much better feeling.
I think I'm crying but I can't tell.
We hold each other in an embrace for what feels like forever.
"It's been 10 minutes."
A voice says.
Me and Henry both turn to it.
His hand in mine.
"Come on. Your time has come."
I look at him, his smile is a beam of light in this dark room.
I press my lips to his, my hand on his face, his hand on my waist, the other on top of my hand.
He followed me towards the door.
"I love you."
