Henry really had thought out his future.
The theatre work must've just been to make a living while he worked his ass off.
Not literally. I'd know.
"What how did you do that?"
"Mr Davidsons been helping me. It's been a lot of work."
Oh jeez, I forgot about him. I wonder if everything with his wife is ok.
Henry is a genius.
What can't this man do?
Oh I know, give me the answers I need.
I can't get this goddamn song out of my head.
It's been so long.
In fact, I found out the actual name of the musical, Falsettos.
I could listen to the soundtrack endlessly.
The music is so beautiful.
If only I could sing in tune.
This could go two ways,
Henry could tell me to shut up; Or it becomes a beautiful duet.
Probably the first.
"What would I do? If I had not seen you?"
The most beautiful man I will ever see.
"Who would I feast my eyes on?"
He joined in, his voice sounds so much better without the music covering it.
"Once I was told, that good men, get better with age"
Whenever I listen to it, it makes me emotional, but it's different singing it with Henry.
"We're just gonna skip that stage..."
For gods sake Henry why'd you leave me to sing that with raspy voice.
But this bit always makes me think of me and Henry.
When will I finally get answers?
Never probably.
I'll never fully know why; do I want to?
"There are no answers, but what would I do?"
Oh no Ted.
Stop before you cry.
I never realised how much this song really relates to my life, until now.
Losing someone without being able to control it, after they make mistakes.
The hurt Marvin feels, the anger, but it being overpowered by love and lust, I feel that. All the goddamn time.
Oh fuck, my eyes have started watering.
Pauls already seen you be a pussy, don't let Henry.
Breathe.
Breathe.
I can't look at Henry otherwise I probably won't be able to hold myself together.
"Teddy?"
If he says it again I might cry. Why am I so emotional? Why am I letting a person make me so emotional?
"Yeah Ree?"
"Why did you stop?"
Because the lyrics hurt me.
You hurt me.
I try to smile, but it just makes me feel worse.
"I can't remember the lyrics."
He offers that I stay over, but I can't.
I need to be alone for a while.
"I'll see you, maybe." I say shutting the door.
I'm so pathetic but, if I'm upset, he will be upset.
I walk home and once I know I look "normal"
I text Paul,
*Meet me at the park in 5, I need to get wasted asap*
Obviously I won't leave until I see he's read the text, or replied.
No matter how exhausted I am right now, drinking away the tiredness seems a great option.
*ye sure see you starlight park*
Thank god.
"Hey man you ok?"
Paul's voice has become a bit of a comfort, the way Henry makes me feel doesn't feel like I'm myself, even though Henry is the only person who's ever seen me completely myself.
"Yeah just, difficult week y'know?"
He nods but I can see the questioning glint in his eyes.
An hour passes and I know I'm out of it, we ran into Bill and Sally,
Bills the same as usual,
"Look, everyone needs a sober friend, AND I need to make sure Sally will be ok!!"
I laugh and in the sweetest way I can I say,
"Aw sure Bill whatever, you're totally not a pussy!"
Paul and I take another shot,
"Ted's right, you and your fucking Shirley Temples will be the death of us!!"
"Paul that's bulllying" I say while high fiving him,
"Right you two, you need to stop, me and Bill should be getting home now!" She smiled at us and kissed Bill.
Ew.
"You know we don't mean it Bill, you're still our bestie!"
It probably sounds sarcastic but I really do mean.
Everyone needs someone as sweet as Bill in their life.
"Ight Ted lets go back to mine"
"Oh Emma will surely love that!"
"Maybe yours then..."
"Lets go."
We get back to mine and then now I can't even tell what I'm doing.
Everythings dizzy but I feel great.
I got a floaty feeling in my body and next thing I know I've woken up having been completely passed out on top of Paul on the floor.
My head is killing me.
I'd woken up to a knock on the door.
It was Emma.
"I got you two coffees, Paul will be up any moment so I'd say get off him."
It's 12:37.
She passes me the coffee and my head is thumping.
12:39.
"3, 2, 1." And it was as if he had been in a trance, he suddenly shot up and Emma was already at his side with a coffee, and a bucket.
"How did you know he'd need that? How did you know he would be up exactly at 12:40????"
It's confirmed, Emma is a witch, satan must be a real man.
"It's always the same, after a long time you become used to how each other are!"
She kisses his forehead,
"Em always is fine the day after, but it seems to hit her two days later but she'd never admit that"
She hits him, pretending to be offended.
They're such a perfect couple.
Ew.
I'm fed up of love.
