Em and Paul went upstairs and I nustled into Ted.
I felt so much safer waking up in his house than in my own.
Even though my whole entire house is basically a panic room, Ted doesn't know that.
After Greg and Stu I became paranoid and so anxious. A panic room seemed to be the perfect place to live.
My parents got it for me, they tried to act like they cared, like they didn't want me to survive on my own. They were so happy when I said I wanted to move to my own house instead of leave Hatchetfield with them. Religion wasn't important to them, until I came out as gay to them at 13.
"God told us to think of Adam and Eve, how disappointed would they be? They showed us how man and woman were meant to be! Not your twisted ideals of love!"
"Henry, we raised you to respect our religion and we're disappointed."
A month later, they pretended as though I wasn't gay, asking about which girl fancied me (and vice versa) as if they thought it was a phase.
I played along until I was 16, and finally, I could get my own house.
Once I moved out they left, and pretended I never existed.
I pretend they don't exist.
They weren't abusive but, not being able to be myself killed me inside. Sometimes I miss the songs my Mom would sing when I have nightmares.
But now I have Ted.
"Ree, I know this will upset you, but. There's something happening. And I don't know what. It seems people are losing control of their bodies."
Everything went cold. I wasn't flung into panic, I was hurled into numbness.
"Pauls sister had a ring round her nose. Dylan, I know you won't want to hear, but he had a puncture in his arm."
Greg and Stus mouths were blue.
It must me how this, infection(?), enters the body.
"It's drugs. It must be. Right?"
I don't even want to talk about it, but I know.
I have to face it eventually.
Regret filled his eyes. Have I said what I'm thinking? Like he sometime's does.
"Well, I think, we have time. Ree I think, we should focus on something else."
I kiss him on the cheek, "Okay."
Thank god he decided we could talk about something else.
I'm so exhausted but I've just woken up.
"I'll go make a coffee, do you want one?" I can tell my voice is weak, but I try to stand securely.
My legs give way and I feel myself fall.
A weird noise escaped my mouth and Ted catches me. We fall into each other laughing.
Imagine if I'd have been on my own when I heard the radio. I probably would've thought I'd never feel happiness ever again.
Ted reminds me of what happiness is, he is my happiness.
Paul and Em come down to us cuddling on the sofa. If Hatchetfield wasn't dying, I would be so content with staying like this forever.
Idea!
"Guys, my house."
They all turned to look at me.
"What?"
"It's basically a fortress, we should stay there. I have everything for 7/8 people to survive off for around 9 months. If we get Sally and Bill over, the baby will be safe. I knew you'd ask Paul."
Again, this hurt look in Emmas eyes.
Mental note: Ask Em what's happened.
Her and Paul would stood next to each other, but looked miles apart.
I've never seen anything more uncomfortable.
"Henry why've you never mentioned that before? Then we wouldn't be stuck in this shithole. If there is something happening that is trying to wipe out Hatchetfield, my house is the least protective place. For gods sake Henry why?"
His face showed he was irritated, or more frustrated. Definitely a bit of both.
"Never came up in convo Teddy..."
Making sure I did puppy dog eyes and I said it with my whiny voice, he never stays mad for long.
"You're lucky we aren't trapped yet Henry. Ted chill... Babe can you call Bill and get him over?"
Em was taking control.
I can't get her on my own, unless,
"Em, you need to help me get rid of anything that'll show where we've gone. Paul go make sure Bill and Sals are ok. Ted, you need to get Charlotte, don't get charmed by Sam. He's charming but we don't need another Mr Mayweather." I winked at him, nobody knew what I was on about.
There was nothing that would've showed where we were. And Emma knew this,
"What do you want Prof?"
She started calling me Prof ages ago, but it disappeared when Ted came back in the picture. Asking questions like this make me feel like a dad to her, even though I'm not much older.
"Perkins I'm worried. Really worried. These past few months you haven't been the same..."
She raised her brows, maybe I'm overthinking it.
"I mean, since Bill announced him and Sals were gonna have Alice. You just, seem off. Sad almost?"
I know I sound questioning, it's so she doesn't retaliate.
A deep sigh was followed by:
"I had a miscarriage. A few days before Bill told us."
She just said it; I could tell she's wanted to tell someone for so long.
"Oh Em I'm so sorry. Does Paul know?"
She shook her head, I hugged her, she can't reach my shoulder so she just held round my chest.
"It's cool though, this shitty towns dying. No place to be pregnant right?" We broke apart and I could tell she was trying to convince herself more than me.
"Definitely, Sally must be struggling."
"I mean they aren't even married yet! She's gonna have to get one of those maternal thingy dresses! What a hassle!"
She laughed a little, so did I.
I never even thought about that.
Paul didn't even know.
So hearing him talk about Alice before she is even born must kill Emma inside.
"Thank god I can't get pregnant. I definitely would be by now if it wasn't biologically impossible!"
We laughed, and embraced once more.
I love this girl, I've always felt like I will care for her like she's my daughter. No matter how much she protects herself. No matter how much Paul protects her. I will always protect her.
"Let's go," wait, "gimme one moment to get something."
I run upstairs and try to find that chapstick. It's next to his bed.
I grab it and almost bounce down the stairs.
I'm glad he still buys it. This one was new.
I lock the door and shove the spare key in my pocket.
