The Diamond Maknae (Jungkook X Reader)

Cutting 🔪

At least he's trying "thanks Kai" I say smiling at him and let out a deep breath to calm myself down. I give them a thumbs up and they move away from me as I walk over to yoongi. "You're right oppa, I'm sorry! I was just talking to my family since it's 5 pm back where my family is!" I bow apologetically

"I guess since its your family it's ok....wait what are you doing in a crop top an shorts?" Yoongi says narrowing his eyes at my outfit "this is how other girls in the K-pop girls dress in practices so don't be like my older brother!" I sigh rolling my eyes

"Well whatever, so what did you and your family talk about?" Yoongi asked and I slightly smiled at what Emma and I talked about "with my mom it was more of her panicking for my well being. Ethan and dad weren't home so I couldn't speak with them. Chance and I talked about txt. Wendy and I talked about how life is over here and Emma and I talked about my job and lack of a boyfriend."

Yoongi slightly chuckled at my bluntness and walked over to the rest of the guys. "Time to start practicing!" I say excitedly

*****

"Wrong wrong wrong all wrong!" I groan while watching myself mess up Idol for the hundredth time "let's start this up again" I say and start the song from the beginning. The moment I took my first step my stomach growled which made me annoyed.

"It's no time to be hungry, you and I both know that I'm fat and that I need to lose weight. That's why we didn't eat yesterday" I scold my stomach. It's currently 4 in the morning, I'm still up. Like I did yesterday I'm staying up to practice, some people may think I'm crazy for doing this but I signed up for this.

The moment I told PD-nim yes to joining BTS I signed up for the lack of sleep and food. I practiced idol 12 more times before collapsing onto the floor panting and in pain. "I finally got that song right....I can finally rest" I say with a tired smile. I grab my phone and was about to head out the room till my phone dings.

I look down and see a YouTube notification, it's from a channel I subscribed to. It's a fan channel. I click on it to see the video, I waited for the thumbnail to show. It finally loaded and showed a picture of me, I tapped on the screen wanting to see the title. 'Is she dragging BTS down the drain? THE TRUTH' the title read.

My grip on my phone tightened to the point my grip on it started to hurt. I dropped my phone onto the floor once I felt something prick my finger. I look down at my finger and see a single drop of blood coming out of a small cut.

I grab my phone off the floor and see a piece of the corner had chipped off and scrapped me. I stuff my phone back in my pocket and just stare at my crimson red drop of blood flow down my finger like a river would.

My eyes linger from my finger to my wrist. I gently place my finger on my wrist and squeeze the edges of my finger. Another drop of blood falls from my finger and land on my wrist. Even though it seems odd, a warm sensation of relaxation washed over me.

I remember the lovely feeling of my blood dripping from my wrist when the cold blade slid across it. I remember the sobs I had let out to relieve my stress, anger, or sadness. I remember when I had slid the cold metal against my thighs was when I knew everything was ok.

My eyes danced from my finger, to my wrist, to my thighs, and finally across the room. In the corner of the room I see a small crack in the mirror that looked like it could fall any moment. Or that could easily be pulled off.

I stood up and slowly walked over to the crack as if I was in a trance. Never taking my eyes off the glass, I lift my finger. Without realizing it till I had done it I had ripped the cracked piece off the wall. The finger size shard laid
in my palm, light bouncing off of it.