"I push people away when I really want someone to hug me and tell me it's okay"
~ unknown
<Hazel's>
The moonlight shines through my windows, the curtains swaying making it look as if the light were dancing on the walls.
I wish I could enjoy the thought, but my thoughts are currently on how much I just screwed up.
For the hundred time since I have laid down, I turn over and glance at the clock, the stupid numbers taunting me in all their shining glory.
How am I supposed to survive through the night knowing that someone in this house is spying on me? How am I supposed to sleep knowing that I just pushed away from the only person I can think of making me feel better about this whole thing?
My stomach churns at the thought of Jason mad at me, the rage I have seen behind his eyes directed at me.
I shake my head to get the image out of my mind as I sit up and swing my legs over the edge of the bed.
It's pointless trying to sleep. I know that sounds crazy considering the day I have had, but my mind won't shut off because it keeps replaying all of the crappy events that happened today.
Not that all of them were crappy... some were weird too.
I groan out and push myself into my feet, my hand on the door handle before I even realized what I am doing.
I jump away from the cold metal as if it burned me, cursing my subconscious.
He doesn't want to see you. He probably doesn't even want you to stay here anymore. You yelled at him because you were frustrated, not because he deserved it... he didn't deserve it.
He doesn't deserve me.
If I weren't so caught up in my own emotions, maybe I would have seen that he was just trying to help me.
That's it. I'm going to apologize. Well, I was going to anyways, but now is better than later. At least I can blame anything embarrassing I do on being sleep deprived, though I doubt Mr. Romeo will really care considering the stunt he pulled last night.
Gosh, what is wrong with us?
Apparently late night talks are becoming a habit.
All to soon I am at his door, suddenly as scared to break the silence as I was the day I first meet Jason. But the thought of him being mad at me scared me more.
Slowly, hesitantly, I lightly knock on the wooden door, the door slightly shaking under my touch before I tuck my hand behind me.
What if he is asleep and can't hear me? I think just as I hear shuffling behind the door. What if I woke him up and he is even more mad at me? I hear him turning the door handle. What if....
He is shirtless.
I quickly look away from him, focusing on anything else except for him.
Though I hate to admit it, the irony in this scene is overwhelming. We switched roles from the night before, only I am not drunk and their is definitely going to be a lot more talking tonight.
At that though, I could use a little liquid courage.
"Hazel?" He questions, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
Oh my gosh, I woke him up.
"I'm sorry, I will come back-"
"No, it's fine, I was just going to bed." He says, a frown on his face. "You ok?"
YOU ARE READING
dove in the darkness ⋘ jason todd ⋙
Fanfiction"Hazel." "What?" "My name." I swallowed hesitantly, afraid to shatter the silence between us anymore than I already had, "It's Hazel." The silence of the night made it seem as if someone breathing too loud could make the silence shatter into a milli...
