dove in the darkness ‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎ ⋘ jason todd ⋙

•Chapter 40•

<Hazel's>

I feel like screaming.

That's the only thing I feel like doing right now with all of the thoughts in my head running loose and colliding into each other.

I need clarity and peace and someone to tell me that everything is okay and that I am safe from harm, but they can't. Because even if I did open my mouth right now, the only sound that would come out would be a cry.

So I don't, and instead, I let the tears free fall down my face as I come to terms with everything that has happened, and everything that will happen. What I have to make happen.

I lean my head against the cold window, the same one Jason stumbled into a few nights ago. And, for a moment, I swear I feel his hands fingers pushing my hair aside. And then it's gone as if it were just a ghost of him.

My eyes shut tightly as his words reply in my head. You are so beautiful. I hear the whisper as if he were in the room with me, right next to me. But when I open my eyes I'm alone. All alone.

A small snivel comes out of me as I shake my head and turn my gaze to the world outside, the aching in my chest only getting heavier when I spot my father pacing in the yard.

How do I face him after this? After thinking he was going to give me away to be slaughtered like my mother was by the same horrible man... after getting mad at him for nothing other than him trying to protect me from pain; the pain I am feeling now.

I bite my lip and fresh tears well up in my eyes. Gosh, I am freaking practically fearless when facing death, but I can't handle the aftermath? What a joke.

I bite down on my lip even harder, forcing myself to sit up straight and do what I need to do.

Wiping the tears off of my face, and running a hand through my hair a few times, I slowly calm down enough to get my thoughts together.

And slowly, I step to my door and open it up, knowing exactly where I need to go.

I pass through the house, not looking at anything in particular and avoiding the gazes that I end up gaining when I walk into the kitchen.

They all immediately stand up straighter when I walk in, and Jason takes a step to me, but I step past him, my eyes glued to the floor.

"Miss Hazel?"

I don't answer or pause. I just push the backdoor open and step out of the suffocating room and into fresh and liberating air.

My dad turns to me and stops almost as if he wasn't sure if it was actually me.

But he knows as soon as I start quickly making my way to him.

He opens his arms and I crash into him, feeling, for the first time in weeks, like I am looking at the man I grew up admiring and caring for.

"My baby girl..." He whispers in disbelief. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry... I'm-"

He lets out a small sob, letting me know he is sincere.

"It's over," I say and the words feel weird coming out of my mouth. "It's okay, it's over."

It's weird how the roles have reversed. I'm telling him it's okay, and I'm taking care of him. Then again, that's sort of how it was before Jason. I would make sure he didn't go crazy or be so in his head with depression over my mom that he would forget to do simple things like eating and sleeping.

And, in a weird way, me comforting him is actually making me feel better than before.

"No, it's not okay." He confesses. "I put you... your mother, in danger and I shouldn't have."
He pulled away from the hug first and cups my cheek, tears shining in his eyes. "I am so sorry. For everything. I will never, ever put you through anything like that ever again, I promise."