Losing my Best Friend

Chapter 18

Scott's P.O.V.

The second I heard him say those four words back to me I knew he meant it as a friend. How could he love me as anything else? I lifted my head from his lap. "I'm sorry." I said looking down at his tear stained shirt. "Scott, you don't need to keep telling me you're sorry all the time." "I'm sorry." I said again. Mitch chuckled. "Why are you constantly sorry huh?" He asked. I twisted my hands in my lap, not wanting to answer. Answering was reliving!

After a long silence Mitch lifted my chin with his hand, looking me dead in the eye. "What did they do to you in there?" He asked. "Nothing." I quickly answered. "Nothing huh? Yeah because nothing is making you go silent. Making you stop singing. Making you turn into...into....a mute. Not wanting to talk or sing or have fun or go out. They surely did nothing. They... changed you. They made you different. Made you thin and fragile. Made you unwell. Made you sad. What happened to the Scott Hoying that was my best friend? The best friend that made me laugh. The best friend that made me cry. The best friend friend who I couldn't live without. What happened to him? Where did he go? And I'm not blaming you for what happened in there. It's not your fault ok? They're the ones who changed you. They're the ones who thought you needed fixing. But you didn't. You weren't broken. But now it sometimes feels like you are worse off then you were before. It feels like....like I've lost you. Like you've become a ghost or something." Mitch finished letting out a deep breath and walking out of the room leaving me sat on the bed with no one to wipe the tears from my face.

Mitch's P.O.V.

I walked out of the room before he could see my tears. I had to be the strong one and I hated that. I didn't want to be the one who was the shoulder to cry on anymore. It wasn't Scott's fault. He couldn't help it. It was those stupid nurses.

I needed to get him out of the house. Back into civilization. He.... no we needed to get back to normal.

I texted Kirstie, Avi and Kevin:

We need to meet up now. Rehearsal hall at 6. Please come. I need to make things normal again.

I walked into Scott's room. "We're going out later. Do you want to come and watch Spongebob?" I said. He looked at me, tears still rolling down his cheeks. I walked to his bed and wiped them away with my thumb. He took my hand that I offered to help him up. He wouldn't let go though. Like I was a life vessel and he had to be connected to me.

I sat down on the couch and so did Scott. I prized my hand away from his and grabbed the TV remote. I flicked through the channels and found Spongebob. You could always count on it being on.

I was nearly rolling around the floor laughing but every time I would look at Scott he was just staring blankly at the TV. I had to hold back saying anything. I didn't want to embarrass him or make him answer questions. I knew he would hate being put on the spot.

I looked at the clock. 5 pm. Wow how much had I been watching? I looked over at Scott who's head was rested on my shoulder, his eyes closed. It was nice to see him sleeping and not screaming. But I had to make him go to see the others. I couldn't handle this not going out thing.

"Scott?" I shoke him. His eyes fluttered open and for a minute he looked like the old Scott. The Scott that didn't have a care in the world but once his eyes adjusted to the light his face sunk. "Scottie, we've got to go out." I whispered. He stood up slowly. I could see him discreetly stretching. Why wouldn't he stretch normally? I chose to ignore it.

I opened the front door and walked into the parking lot and unlocked my car. As we drove I turned up the radio and started to sing. I swear I heard Scott hum a couple of times but nothing that would be normal.

I walked into the rehearsal hall and saw Kirstie, Kevin and Avi sitting on the sofas. "Mitchie!" Kirstie squealed, running over and hugging me. "Is everything ok?" She whispered in my ear. I just nodded. "Hey kiddo. It's good to see you." I heard Avi say. I turned to see him and Scott hugging. Then Scott and Kevin hugging. Then Kirstie walked up to him. She looked him up and down a couple of times and then wrapped him a huge hug.

I relaxed, sitting on the sofa. Scott attached himself onto my side. We quickly got into deep conversation. Catching up and telling stories and laughing hysterically because that's what we do. Then I realized Scott hadn't spoken once since we got here.

I leaned over to his ear and spoke so only he could hear me. "Are you alright?" He nodded his head. "Do you want to leave?" He shook his head.

"Scott," Kirstie said. "While you were in the hospital," He stiffened, "We started arranging something." He relaxed again. Scott nodded. "We kinda need your expertise." Said Avi. He nodded again. So we started to sing our rendition of Stay With Me. Scott closed his eyes and took in every word of the song. I could tell he was really concentrating because it was how he looked when I caught him listening to me this morning.

When we finished I opened my mouth. "It sounds kind of off because your not in it but once we begin rehearsal and stuff again we can fit you into the song." Scott opened his eyes and looked up. I saw a tear drip down his cheek. "What's wrong?" I asked wrapping my arms around him.

He breathed out slowly and deeply. I could tell his mind was going through it and he didn't want to get pulled into that vortex again. "I can't do this anymore." He said. "Do what Scott?" Avi asked. "This. I can't sing anymore. I can barely be in the same room with y'all without feeling like a shit head." "Scott..." Kevin said. "No, Kev. I can't ok? I hurt Avi. I was horrible to Kirstie. And I don't even know how Mitch can look at me let alone hold me in his arms." He said prizing my arms off of him. "Scott, it wasn't your fault. How many times do I have to tell you?" I said. "If it wasn't me then who was it? Who did this to you?" He said pulling up my sleeve to reveal the bruises that still hadn't faded from month ago. "How can you say it wasn't my fault? It was my mind. I did it. Things happened in that hospital that you will never be able to understand! Things that I will never be able to talk about." "Scott, you don't have to talk about it. But I swear if they did hurt you I'm gonna fucking rip their bodies to pieces." I said. "See why would you do that for me?" "Because you're my best friend." "How can you still say that though?" "Scott don't do this to me please."

His faced turned white. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to." He said backing up against the wall. "You don't have to be sorry all the time." I said.

He sunk to the floor and didn't open his mouth again. Just sat there. I tried to talk to him again but was only answered with nods and shakes of the head. What was going on in his head?

I sat there with him. It was like he zoned out. I didn't understand how he could do it. Avi and Kevin left after a half hour of silence. They said they'd be in touch. Kirstie sat with me until we had to turn the lights in the studio on and then she left. She said she'd be over tomorrow. That left just me and him. We sat there for hours. I realized now how easy it was to get engrossed in a wall. How it looks. What shades of color it is. Where the cracks are.

I suddenly felt something hit my shoulder. I looked to my right to see Scott had fallen asleep. Well I guess we're going to sleep here tonight. Slowly my eyes became heavy and I too fell asleep. But I knew it wouldn't be a good one. Scott's nightmares would be almost unbearable tonight!

A/N

Hey hey you you! Was this a longer chapter. I feel like it was. I dunno. Hope you enjoyed. It is quite sad. so I'm sorry. :( Hopefully things will start to look up for them soon. Or will they?

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