Chapter 26

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     The next night, Javier comes to see me again. I had not seen him at all today and was hoping to tear him a new one that morning. But all the pent-up emotions I had felt and the argument scenarios I had practiced with myself all go out the window. I step away from him the minute I open the door, not giving him a chance to distract me with his touches or kisses.

     "What the hell was that about yesterday? You have the nerve to just show up out of the blue... and then leave with no explanation whatsoever?"

     "What explanation did you want? I thought the night explained itself."

     "Well, you thought wrong!"

I quickly sidestep him when he tries to come closer again.

     "What are you doing?" he asks folding his arm across his chest.

     "Nah uh. You are not going to just slam bam thank you mame me again."

     "Slam, bam, what? What are you talking about?"

     "You know what I mean."

     "No, I don't. I thought you enjoyed last night."

     "Well... I- I did."

     "Good. That's all that matters."

Suddenly, before I can even react, he corners me against the wall. I put my hands against his chest trying to put as much distance between us as I can in this new predicament.

     "That's not the point Javier. You're not listening-"

     "Sshh," he stops me with a finger to my lips.

He slowly removes his finger cautiously. Then before I can get another word in, his lips capture mine. Javier's are usually sensual, seductive, and playful. This kiss, however, though still passionate, is more urgent and demanding. As if with the kiss he is trying to coax something more out of me.

     "Let's not complicate things," Javier says to the end of the kiss. "Things are getting better between us."

     "Are they?"

To this he says nothing. Instead, as before, he swoops me into his arms and carries me towards the bedroom. Javier kicks the door close then gently places me down on the bed. His eyes slowly travel down my body as if examining me before his gaze lands on mine. Though it is dark, the moonlight casting through my window lands on Javier perfectly and I can just ever so clearly see the green glints of his eyes. I stare at him deeply, returning the analysis. His eyes are the same, just as when we first met. But the emotions behind them aren't. At least not as intensely as before, if even at all. The gleam in his eyes is more guarded. After a moment, Javier gives me a slight smile that is reassuring; or at least it was meant to be. Except, it feels like a farce. The Javier before me is undeniably not the same. He is not the same Javier I was falling in love with.

~

Javier's visits become a nightly routine. And by morning he is always gone. He never leaves when I am awake. He cuddles me until I fall asleep, then he slips away. So, I have been trying to stay awake as much as possible.

     "Stay," I asked him one night when I woke up to him getting dressed. He was sat on the bed putting on his shoes.

     "I can't," he simply mumbled matter-of-factly.

I crawled towards him and slipped onto his lap facing him.

     "Please."

     "It's best if I don't."

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