Kabanata 19

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Kulang pa

"Can you still hear those voices, Mrs. Del Rico?"

Isang napapagod na iling ang isinagot ko. The doctor had been asking me different questions pero hindi ko naman nauunawaan iyon. Kusa na lamang akong umiiling o tumatango.

Napapagod itong bumuntong-hininga tapos ay tumayo.

"I'll leave you first so you can rest a bit. Uulitin ko ang mga tanong ko pagbalik ko."

She patted my shoulder and gave me a reassuring smile. I didn't give it back. I just stared at her with confusion, trying to process what she just said.

I can see pity in her eyes but she masked it with concern. Nang tumalikod ito, ang dalawang taong nagisnan ko rito ang pumalit.

I can feel their heavy stares on me. No one tried to speak. Maybe they are waiting for me. Pero hindi ako magsasalita.

I don't know what should I say or if I ever have the rights to say something. Hindi na kasi iyon ang sinasabi ng utak ko. Blanko na ito. It cannot function well now.

"How do you feel?" A man asked me with concern written on his face.

With the way he walks and talk, this is probably Tyron. My husband's brother. The man I should be with if only I am not unfortunate in life.

He went to the right side of the bed while the other on e chose to occupy the sit that the doctor left

How do I feel? I blink my eyes to try evaluating what would my answer would be.

Wala akong maramdamang buhay sa sarili ko. Oo at gising ako, nakadilat ang mga mata, nakikita ang pagkilos nila sa harap ko pero hindi ko iyon makitaan ng buhay. Hindi na magawang kumilatis ng mata ko ng buhay.

"Rosalie..." Tyron called me once again.

Hindi ko iyon binigyang pansin. Naglilibot ang tingin ko dahil may pilit na hinahanap ang aking mga mata at iyon ay kulay. Buhay. 

"Rosalie, please..."

There is no other thing for me to see but black and white hues. Dull and... eerie. No other thing for my mind to process but the numbness of my being. My heart... I cannot feel it and there's also an absence of my mind.

Nasapo ko ang aking dibdib hindi dahil sa biglaang pagsakit noon kundi dahil hindi ko iyon madama. Did they do something to me? Bakit ganito? Wala akong maramdaman?

Am I awake?

My eyes blink rapidly as it started to watered. I cannot process anything but my eyes, they are sheding tears like they have their own mind.

Something is triggering me. Voices... Different voices. Calm, mad, sweet, terrfying voices are penetrating my ears. However, among those voices, there are those that are clear for me to hear.

"Let her rest first, Tyron..." It is baritone, not calm, not mad but dangerous.

I closed my eyes tightly as I tried to load what's happening in my surroundings. I wanted to move my hand but I can't. It was stuck just like my feet!

Wala akong magawa kundi panoorin ang mga taong nakaputi, tinuturukan ako pero hindi ko maramdaman. My eyes became blurry as I stared at the white ceiling blankly before the darkness succumbed me.

I wasn't startled when I woke up and finally able to grasp where am I or why I'm here.

"Can you still remember me, Miss Cortez?" A man with a long hair asked me.

He's tying his hair into a man bun before he settled himself on a monoblock chair in front of me. I didn't give him an answer. I just look at him blankly.

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