I'm in love with him, and I remember seeing his bright blue eyes and his big white smile the first time and just thinking how breath taking he was. But I was in denial about how I felt about him, I would think I was so crazy or maybe over thinking things whenever he would drop these small "hints" that he was into me and I would question myself if I was into him as well. The feeling of excitement I got when we would hang out and I would randomly catch him staring at me or how he would randomly brush his hand against mine, I would just stay up all night and think about it. I would think maybe it was just a phase and maybe he wasn't into me or maybe I'm just making things up in my head.
I sat on top of my bed wiping my eyes, I reached over to grab my phone only to see the small sketch book and the book of memories of just photos of us, I grabbed them placing them on my bed scanning through the pages. I brushed my fingers tips over the dry flower tape on the book, I missed him. I closed it quickly wiping my nose, I grabbed the next book. I stared at the detail drawings of me, and the small comics he drew of us. I just needed him to answer at least one of my calls or messages, I found myself looking back at the memory of me laying on his chest as we both discuss about getting married and having two kids and just excited to spend the holidays with each other.
I grabbed my phone messaging him again telling him to at least tell me he was alright, I scrolled through the calls and messages feeling a bit angry. I rolled my eyes throwing my phone across the room, wiping my eyes and groaning out loud in frustration. Jamie quietly enter my room making me wrap the blanket around me tighter, I looked away and stared down at the books. "Lucas" she sighed while staring down at my bed , she held her famous fruit bowls "I made you some-" "fruit, I know. Im not hungry" I muttered laying back on the bed "Lucas you haven't ate in what? Almost two days? You have school tomorrow you can't go on a empty stomach" she held it up to me, I closed my eyes shaking my head "listen Jamie, I'm not hungry." I said in annoyance way staring right up at her "Lucas please ta-" "Jamie no, I don't feel like talking. I been saying no to you, do you not understand? I need some alone time, it's like you're deaf or something, you're just not listening to me. Just listen to me!" I yelled shaking hands, my eyes were filled with tears as she frowned right up at me with eyes that begin to water "I- I was just worried about you" she stuttered before leaving the room.
Great.
Andy then enter the room with an angry expression, my lips pressed together while crossing my arms. What now..
"Lucas what the fuck, you're sister is out in the living room bawling her eyes out and she did nothing wrong but reached out to help you!" He yelled, I raised a brow "I told her to leave me alone" I mumble "Lucas she's worried about you! You have to understand!" He scold me. "No! You need to understand me" "Lucas you haven't left your room, it's been awhile. Do you even shit man?" "I do, I use the bathroom" I pointed towards my door. I wasn't in the mood to argue.
"She cares about you!" "I just need some time alone, do you both not understand? Is that really hard to ask for in this house? I'm getting so annoyed by it" I rolled my eyes "you-" I interrupted him by shaking my head "do you not understand how hard it is for me right now, how I'm so numb and confused at the same time, and I'm really not sure what to do. How the person I care about so much doesn't reply to me, and I'm really not sure on what is going between us. Like are we together? Was that really your way to break up with me? Just Why?" tears were streaming down my face "and it sucks. Because I lost the person who I felt so alive with, I was so lost before and I wasn't sure what I was doing but when I was with him and whenever I stared into his eyes I found myself. He wasn't just my boyfriend, he was my best friend. And I hate how corny that sounds but I mean it. He understood me when my friends didn't, he made me feel welcome and made me understand life. He's all I had left, and now that everything expose in school... I have no one" I say crying softly.
"It broke me apart when I yelled out to my friends to help me break the fight but all they did was ignore me. So when I go back to school, what's going to happened?" I asked him, he stared at me with regret "I really don't know what to say" he mumble scratching the back of his neck "exactly. This is why I need time alone" "Lucas.." "Just leave me alone" I said rubbing my eyes as tears started to stream more down my face.
