Jamie walked over to me with a smile holding a small brown paper bag "I made you some lunch, and no it doesn't have any fruit but a small smoothie bowl" she winked at me, I let out a low laugh "thanks" I mumble "call me and Andy if anything happens" she nodded and looked towards him, I watched as he added on with a nod "Yeah, we will leave work just for you" "thanks again" I uttered waving my hand at them signifying I was off to school.
-
I was already late, but that's how I wanted to start the day. I guess that's how's it going to be for the rest of the year, unless I give up and join online but that doesn't sound half that bad. But that would mean more Jamie and Andy time and I don't want to imagine or deal with that. I didn't want to run into anyone, not my "friends" and not Elliott especially, I knew if I were to see him I was going to break down and start freaking out and ask him multiple questions about him ignoring him and if it was really over.
I dragged my feet towards my desk, throwing myself softly on the chair. I crossed my arms laying my head on top of them, the whole class stared at me, well I didn't see them but I could feel their eyes burning on me. I heard the small whispers and what I'm assuming are rumors of me and Elliott, maybe it is best if I did online maybe hanging out with Jamie and Andy a lot wouldn't be that bad. Maybe.
The teacher walked through the door, making me sit up straight. She continued on discussing on the work we had to do and if we didn't finish it, it would be homework. I was always finished with my work, I just like the feeling of being busy it always filled the empty space in my
head. It actually relax me as strange as that sounds, all I need is a shit ton of work.
I stared down at the book, I kept reading the first two lines over and over again. It just didn't make sense to me, I couldn't focus on it correctly all that was on my head was Elliott. Was he even in school today? I'm always here for him. The room let out a small laughters making me turn around, one of the school "popular" boys had said something funny from what I'm assuming but as soon as his eyes landed on me he raised a brow with a evil smirk. I quickly went back to looking down at my book, of course trying to concentrate on it "Elliott?" I heard someone say making me looking up and glance around the room, there was no sight of him. "Of course that'll make him look up" the blonde popular boy said, I didn't say anything I didn't have any motivation to argue or respond back.
A crumble up paper flew in the air landing onto my desk near my book, I shake my head running my fingers through my hair in annoyance . I grabbed the paper ball and turned around "this is so cliché, are you serious? What are we-" the poplar boy interrupted me "open it." He said calmly, I titled my head "no" I responded back "open it." He said but this time aggressively, I made some face to him, who does he think he is? "no okay!" I threw it back at him "quit wasting paper too, we only have a few years to say the world" "is that what you're worrying about, you do know you're gay" "and what's wrong with that?" "We're in school" "yeah I'll be alone and that's mostly it" I shrugged "I mean self work is important so I don't mind it at all, plus I enjoy being alone" "but I mean you must be tired, you were all alone in that closet most of the time" the boy that sat behind the blonde headed boy nudged him "Issac, he wasn't alone he had Elliott remember"he chuckle, I fake laugh "super funny guys, I love it" I clapped my hands sarcastically.
-
It was time for lunch and I wasn't really sure where to go, so I went on the outside stairs and just plopped myself down and enjoyed my lunch. The smoothie bowl was great I suppose, but I'm not going to lie I did get a bit excited to see that Jamie and Andy shoved a candy bar in my lunch. Usually my lunch is filled with healthy snacks, Andy picks on Jamie because of that, he says she baby's us all too much.
I crumbled up my paper bag shoving into the recycling bin, I decided to see if Elliott came to school. I wasn't going to talk to him, I guess it's better off if we stay how we are now. Which makes my heart ache a whole lot but it's what is best. I guess.
I walked past the lunchroom to see no sight of him, he probably left early for lunch. I guess. I hope he's alright. I still had 30 minutes for lunch, so I went back on the stairs and went on my phone watching random videos and read a couple random poems and short stories.
I miss him. Why am I lying to myself, I'm not okay.
