love at school

shes broken without him

Ive made a complete mess of my life here in Liverpool. Ive fallen in love with 2 boys and got hurt hurt by both of them. I sometimes wonder what I did in my past life to make this life so complicated.

I was hurting over losing John and the strengh of this pain surprised me immensely. When Paul hurt me I was devastated but this pain is so much worse it's like I'm struggling to function without him. It's like I can't breath right without him. Seeing him just makes me want to still be wrapped up in his arms as he made me feel safe and loved and beautiful and protected and now I feel emptiness. Seeing John with Trish kills me it literally kills my heart and I can't stand it. I knew i loved John I just didn't realise how much until he no longer wanted me. I ached for him. I ached for his attention and I didnt care how i got it I just needed him to notice me.

I walked into the cafeteria and sat down with the boys. And Trish was with John as always and it hurts.

"Where's your food" Paul asked concerned making John look at me

"I'm not hungry" I lied

Honestly I was starving but I didn't want to eat anymore this was my punishment for loosing John. I didn't deserve to eat.

" come on tia go and grab some thing to eat even a apple"

"I'm fine Paul just leave it" I snapped

Paul looked at the rest of the boys. And they all looked concerned but I didn't even care. I was to consumed in missing John to even be able to process how my friends were feeling.

The whole lunch break went in a blur. I don't know what happened or what was said or what I did. I just seemed to sit with my head down trying not to cry.

I left the group at some point to use the bathroom and Trish came with me.

*Paul's pov*

"Guys what are we going to do about tia? She isn't eating. She isn't even functioning anymore"

" until we know what's wrong I don't know how we can help" John said

Paul and George looked at John like he had gone crazy.

" What?" John asked

"You cannot be that oblivious john"

"Oblivious to what George?"

"She's like this because the poor girls in love with you still and she can't cope without you"

John looked at George like he had punched him. He was shocked he honestly thought that she hated him now.

"I dunno what to say. I'm with Trish. I don't know how to help"

" that's the problem were facing. How do we help her. She's starving herself. She needs help but what do we do.

*tias pov*

I was in the bathroom washing my hands and Trish was talking to me and she honestly seemed like a sweet girl and I couldn't be mean to her but being around her knowing she has my John is destroying me . It's like getting salt poured into a open wound  it stings.

"Your very pretty tia"

" Oh I'm really not but thank you. Your the pretty one.

"John calls me beautiful all the time but I don't believe him"

John used to call me beautiful

"You should believe him as he's right you are"

" can we be friends? I could do with one. People see how I look and judge me. They automatically think I'm stupid and a bitch and I'm not at all"

Being her friend is going to kill me but she's lovely so what could i do.

" we're already friends"

Trish let out this high pitched squeal

"Yeah so will you come to the cavern with me tonight and watch the boys play."

"Of course i will"

Trish linked her arm threw mine and walked back to the cafeteria where the boys were and they saw Trish attached to me but what disturbed them was how broken I looked and they felt helpless.