love at school

and in the end

John was running late to school this morning so i had to walk to school on my own which i did not mind as i would of been awful company. i did not sleep last night every time i closed my eyes i saw Paul kissing that girl.

I knew it would happen i knew that Paul would cheat on me with someone pretty. i knew that he was to good for me but it still hurt to see him kissing her not at all concerned that he already had a girlfriend.

I arrived at the school gates and saw Paul waiting on me like he did every morning and i could see by the way he was smiling at me and looking happy to see me that John had not told him that i saw him last night poor Paul had no clue that i knew he was a cheating dog.

Once i reached him Paul grabbed me and pulled me into a kiss and it made me feel sick that he was kissing me when just last night his lips were on someone elses lips

" what did you get up to last night" i ask fishing to see if he will tell me what he did or just lie

" nothing stayed in and played some guitar i missed you. How did you and john get on with Mimi" he asked all innocent and sweet and i just wanted to punch him in his smug lying face

" we got on great we made Mimi flip her lid and you say you were at home huh? that's strange because when i saw you at the cavern you had your tongue rammed down some girls throat" i shout while his face drained of colour

" uh well babe it wasn't what it looked like"

" really it looked like you were snogging a bird but what were you doing then"

" it was just a kiss babes and kisses mean nothing" he tried to reason with me

" wow so our kisses mean nothing?"

" our kisses mean everything as i love you"

" liar stop lying to me if you loved me you would not of kissed her"

" i bet you kissed John though last night"

" yeah i did and it was just as part of an act for Mimi which i will add i asked you on the phone if it was ok to do that as i did not want to hurt you but i wish i hadn't now i wish i would of snogged the face of John"

" you see you make it so obvious in front of me that you want john"

" don't turn this around to make me look like the bad one. if i wanted John i could of easily had him but i turned him down because i loved you because i thought that if i was with John he would cheat on me and hurt me but if i stayed with you i would be looked after i thought you would never of hurt me but look how wrong i got that"

" we are over Paul i can't do this anymore go be with whoever that girl was that you were with see if i care" i shouted angry

" i will then and by the way we did more than kiss last night and for your information the girl i shagged last night was Cynthia" he screamed angry at me

why was he angry he had no right to be and Cynthia as in John's ex Cynthia my best friend. I could not take this the betrayal was all to much i felt myself feeling ill and i ran to the bathroom and i threw up feeling dizzy and feeling like my whole life was over.

I walked out of the toilet cubical and saw Cynthia standing fixing her hair in the mirror

" where do you get off huh sleeping with Paul. you knew how i felt about him" i say feeling more hurt than angry

" don't act all sweet and innocent when you have been flirting with john since the moment you's met"

" really its called having a laugh with someone nothing has ever happened between us"

"he still broke up with me in the hopes of being with you"

" he broke up with you because your a complaining boring girl " i say pissed off at everyone turning this situation around on me like i am to blame

" your going to regret moving to Liverpool im going to make your life hell" she threatened

" i already regret moving here and my life is already hell so do your worst i don't care"

Cynthia left the bathroom and i leaned over the sink feeling weak at my life crumbling around my ears i no longer have a lovely boyfriend or a best friend.

My life has been full of drama since i moved to liverpool a few months ago and i honestly did not feel strong enough to fight anymore crap that came my way. 

I walked out of the bathroom in a daze and i saw John standing talking to George smiling and joking and i ran up to him and fell into his arms and cried

" what happened Tia?" he asked me concerned

" its all over everything my life its over i can't do this no more" i sobbed while the other students passed us looking at me strangely as i cried into the school bully's arms

" i take it you saw Paul" 

" yeah and he tried to blame it all on me because i apparently have feelings for you and i told him that it was bull but he still blames his actions on me"

" tia love Paul gets like that when he is found out doing something wrong he goes into panic mode and blames everyone else he always does it but trust me he will come running with his tail between his legs"

" he can run back to Cynthia for all i care"

" CYNTHIA" John shouts

I look up into Johns eyes and i see shock and hurt

" oh my god i thought you knew it was Cynthia he kissed last night he also slept with her"

John looked hurt that his best mate slept with his ex bird but what he did surprised me he laughed

" whats funny" 

" i find it funny that he had a gear bird like you but went slumming it with Cyn"

" well i mustn't be that gear when he can't wait to go and cheat on me. i knew he would do it John i knew i was not good enough or him"

" you were to good for him "

The school bell rang and me and John said our goodbyes and i made my way to English where i had to sit beside Paul. i went and sat beside him not looking at him though i could sense he was staring at me.

The teacher walked in and set her stuff done and once she settled she looked at me

" tia are you ok you don't look well" she asked concerned

I was trying so hard to hold my tears in as i did not want Paul to see me cry but the kindness in my teachers voice made me break down again  and Paul tried to pull me into a hug which i knew would calm me down instantly but i could not bear to be around him and  pulled away as i cried

" im not feeling so good can i please leave" i ask 

" yes go get some air relax and if you feel up to it come and rejoin us again"

" thank you miss" i said gathering my books up and placing them in my bag

" im so sorry" i heard Paul say but i ignore him and i leave class feeling devastated. 

I felt like if there was no more me and Paul there should be no more me.

My thoughts were in a dark place i felt used betrayed and i felt stupid i felt i would be better of gone.

So i walked into the nurses room which was empty and i grabbed a lot of painkillers and put alot of them in my mouth and took a drink of water and in a few seconds i had swolled them. 

I wanted this pain to end i could not handle it and as i fell to the floor i kept thinking about my best friend how could i leave John but i felt myself get weak and everything went dark and as i slipped away my final thought was im sorry john.