The secret within

36. Something about you

January 10, 2017.
11:45pm.

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"So this is where you'd be staying." Alondra told Alani as she looked at her blankly. "You start therapy to learn how to walk and all that in two weeks-- you'll have an in home nurse and also, me and Cedrick to help out around here." She sighed. "Why are you looking at me like that?" Alondra snapped.

"Something about you annoys me." Alani tilted her head. "You really irritate me." She rolled her eyes and Alondra jerked her neck to the side.

It had been a week since she'd told Alondra she loved her and she didn't feel it in her heart, and she still had yet to remember her.

"Well tell me how you really feel bitch, I don't give not a mothafuck--"

"Alondra!" Cedrick laid Aniyla down and stood. "Calm down, I'm sure she didn't mean it." He rubbed his head, Alondra snatched away from him and looked him up and down.

"She got one more time-- sister or not to disrespect me when I'm the main one trying to help." Alondra scoffed. "'Something about you annoys me' well remember that shit and let me know how you been feeling, I don't need and I never needed no bitches fake love, I find that shit strange how she can't remember me but I guess she could remember you and josh because she loved y'all right? I spent all my life protecting this bitch and I irritate her? Me?" Alondra teared up. "You or josh could never love her how I do, but that's fine. Fuck all this shit." She grabbed Aniyla and stormed out.

"Wow." Alani frowned. "She's dramatic-- I don't like her."

"And this is why me and you barely got along. You never see your wrong doings and you're nonchalant about the wrong shit-- your nurse needs alone time with you. I'll be back." Cedrick shook his head at the thing that turned him off the most about her. "I knew it wouldn't be long before you were back... you." He shook his head and walked towards the door.

"I love you my two." Alani chuckled and saw Cedrick tense up and turn to face her. "Oh that rings a bell?" She scoffed.

She didn't know what that meant to her or him, but she knew that his voice ran through her head and the last thing she could always piece together was him calling her his one and she'd call him his two and it was starting to get to her because she couldn't piece together what that meant and nobody would tell her, so it only pissed her off.

"Where you get that from?" Cedrick asked her clearing his throat.

Alani looked away. "I don't know, why won't you just tell me who you are to me? What does one and two mean, and why is it your voice?" She teared up because she really wanted to remember, and it seemed as if no one would help her, but wanted to help her do everything else-- it frustrated her. "Alondra says she loves me and wants to help me then why can't she tell me the truth? Why can't you tell me the truth?" She cried. "Y'all don't know how hard it is not to remember anything and the only people around you are keeping secrets." She sniffled. "I can't move, walk, nothing and all I want is to know who you are to me." She looked up at him and seen how quick he had to look away from her eyes.

"Alani I'm... we're um, I'm your--"

"Good morning." The nurse walked through the door cheerful cutting Cedrick off from about to tell her that he was her husband. "I got it from here sir." She smiled and he stared at Alani before shaking his head and walking out.

Alani just shook her head and sighed. "Morning." She mumbled. "Is there a way I could start therapy earlier? I would rather make my own decisions and be my own person." She asked. "Is there a way you could ban them from coming around for a while? I want to do this on my own."

"You should really have support around-- family and friends." Nurse walker sighed and wiped Alani's face. "However, you are in control of your own decisions but I would suggest you have at-least someone by your side and I could push to start therapy as soon as tomorrow if you're ready for that."

Alani bit her lip. "There's a man that I used date Josh? He told me that if I needed him I could give him a call.... maybe he could come here with me? I just really don't want Cedrick or Alondra around me for a while." She said and the nurse nodded to see if she could get in touch with Josh since he was on her list of people to see her.

"He doesn't live here, but I could give him a call."

"Hold the phone to my ear." Alani suggested, and listened to the phone ring.

"Hello?" Josh voice rang through her ears.

"Hi.. it's alani." She cleared her throat.

Josh smiled. "Wassup? I was just about to come see you before I left town."

"I was wondering if you could stay longer- help me through therapy?" She asked.

The line went quiet. "I'll have to check with Cedrick, and my woman first. But, I will if that's cool with them both." He rubbed his hand down his face.

"Your girlfriend could come too. I know we're exes but no feelings came back or anything- and if you can't do it then that's fine." She said. "And why do you have to ask Cedrick?" She frowned.

"He's just your main care provider. But, let me call my girl and I'll let you know by time I come see you."

"Thank you." Alani sighed and let the nurse disconnect the call. "Could you take me for a nap?" She asked and felt so useless she wanted to cry.

"Yes, I'll get the paperwork ready for therapy." Nurse walker told her and wheeled her into the room she'd be sleeping in. She helped her in the bed and fluffed her pillows for her, before shutting the light off and leaving her there to sleep.

Alani looked at the ceiling and let tears fall from her face. She hated to be confused, and she hated how no one even bothered to help her remember anything. How could they want better for her but turn around and rob her of her memories, she wondered if what they were hiding was that big of a deal?

"God please let me remember something." She whispered and shut her eyes to head to sleep.